LITTLE VOICE
by FictionallySpeaking
Summary: Everything in her life doesn't make sense anymore..after the Bluebird, she was an emotional basketcase. -DEACON/RAYNA- - *This is my first story, please be kind..if people seem to be enjoying it I'll continue with the chapters I have going.*
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** All characters are copyright of Nashville. I own nothing.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

The stairs were cold against her feet as she wandered down to the kitchen. Flipping the light switch she squinted as her eyes adjusted. She looked at the clock and swore. 4:40am. Turning the kettle on she grabbed a mug. Sleep seemed to be evading her in recent weeks, leaving her irritable and restless in the day and worse off through the night. She liked to think she was oblivious to why this kept happening but she knew full well why it was so.

Pulling out a stool she sat at the kitchen bench and ran her hands through her hair letting her mind replay the memories she so desperately wanted to forget - The Bluebird, that stupid song and of course, then there was him. Why him? Why Deacon? The close and familiar sense that had come with each word they had sung to one another that night, letting every notion and emotion come flooding back overwhelming them completely. The way he had looked at her when he had realised she had felt it too, and the red that had coloured her cheeks because she knew what his eyes had meant. Everything about that somewhat innocent song had made her an emotional basket case.

Rubbing her eyes she collected her thoughts and her coffee and headed to the study, settling into the comfort of a couch, tucking her feet under her to keep warm, she willed herself to forget. She couldn't think like this, he was the story she had put to bed a long time ago. She knew full well it had been right to say goodbye. The heartache and hopelessness that came with loving him through one relapse after another had worn her down to a place where she didn't know who she was anymore. Dwelling on this only left her thoughts more disorderly than they had been when she had last left them. After all, she had chosen someone else to share her life with. She had chosen Teddy. She had once thought this was the right decision, however it had been less than perfect lately. Trust was becoming too rare and they seemed to tiptoe around one another in fear they'd say the wrong thing. She squirmed at the realisation that they were becoming those broken husbands and wives, who don't talk but share the night.

Regardless, she had chosen him; irrespective of this season they were in. They had the girls, they had a family. She just had to forget Deacon. Thinking about it made her head hurt. It wasn't much longer till she was asleep.

"Mommy!" Daphne screeched.

Rayna's eyes snapped open. Leaping out of her newly found slumber she sprinted in search of the voice, nearly tripping over her own feet she followed the voice to the kitchen where the little girl stood in front of the fridge.

"I'm hungry…"

"You scream _Mommy_ because you don't want to open the fridge yourself?" Rayna straightened when she realised that the emergency-like plea had been nothing more than a demand for breakfast.

Daphne smiled and hopped up on a stool. Rayna shook her head and settled on not starting an argument. She was leaving 2 days from now for the tour. This meant months away with little time to see the girls. It wasn't exactly ideal timing, but how had Teddy put it_?_

"_The perfect cover for us, publicly and privately". _Rayna scoffed at the thought as she poured glasses of orange juice.

"Have you seen my tie?" Teddy asked as he ran through the kitchen with Maddie not too far behind.

"Good morning honey." Rayna teased as Maddie sat, eyes glued to her phone.

"Hello? Earth the Maddie."

"Maddie?!" Rayna waved her hand, waiting for Maddie to give her any kind of recognition.

"Hmm?" Maddie answered half-heartedly.

Rayna shook her head as she watched Teddy run back through the kitchen.

"Have you tried the bathroom door?" Rayna called.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why would I not have…found it." Teddy yelled from the upstairs bathroom.

Rayna smiled as she pushed hair out of her face. Making sure both girls were eating she ran upstairs to take a shower. Instead her husband stopped her in the doorway of their bedroom, tugging on her hand.

"Have you thought about tonight?" he queried.

"Oh, you were serious?" she replied in surprise.

"Please, I know it's the last thing you want to do. But it's probably the last night we'll be able to see each other in a while. It'd be a good chance for us to say goodbye before you go. Your Dad would be really happy if you came."

"Of course he would. Always wanting to be in control." She rolled her eyes.

"This has nothing to do with control." Teddy defended.

"Of course it's not, because Daddy _never_ does anything like that." Rayna spat.

"Fine. Sorry I even asked." Teddy withdrew hurt as he walked into their room.

"Don't do that. I'll go."

"Really?"

"I want to support you. I want to spend tonight with you." She said through a forced smile.

"Thank you, I mean it… See you at 8." He replied.

She leant to kiss him but his lips met her forehead instead, leaving her dejected as he went downstairs. Rayna rest her head against the doorframe already regretting saying she would attend this train wreck of an evening.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Turning the car off she looked at the flashing cell phone on the passenger seat. 4 messages. Picking it up she already knew who had called. Checking her voice mail she listened to the first one. _Ray, I'm guessing you know it's me…. because you're not picking up. I waited at the studio for you but you didn't show. Call me when you get this. It's Deacon if you haven't already figured it out._ Throwing her phone back on the passenger seat she slammed the steering wheel. It was already 8:15pm and any kind of nerve she'd gathered to get herself into that Country Club was gone. By reflex she picked up the phone and dialled.

"Hello?" said a deep voice on the other end of the line.

"Deacon?" she hesitantly asked.

"Speaking."

"Hey…it's.."

"Rayna?" Deacon replied.

"Yeah." She said nervously as she hopped out of the car.

"I just wanted to call and tell you I wasn't ignoring you. You know how planning a tour goes…never enough time in a day... especially a tour as last minute as this, it's crazy." She laughed nervously leaning against the driver door.

"Yeah I do. We've had quite a few rehearsals on our end. Working with the Revel Kings ain't so bad though."

Nodding she began to walk towards the Country Club entrance.

"I waited today." He stated.

"I know you did."

"Look Ray, you're the one who wanted to write. I said no, remember? But you said you wanted to make it work."  
"I know. It's just I…" She answered without thinking, stopping herself mid sentence. Deacon took the silence as a cue to change the subject.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"Some stupid dinner I agreed to."

Deacon laughed. This made her mad.

"Don't be laughing at me. I hate these things. You know I hate them. Why the hell I agreed to this I have no idea. What's worse is this whole thing is Daddy's idea." She shook her head in shame, intentionally slowing her walk as she neared the entrance doors.

"What time did it start?"

"I was supposed to be inside..." she moved the phone away from her ear to check the time. "20 minutes ago."

"Well, I'm guessing waiting around at the studio tonight is a lost cause then."

"I think that would be correct...besid…" She answered.

Deacon laughed again.

"Listen, hey stop. Listen, you _know_ writing together may not be the best idea right now...with tour prep, I have the girls to look after…. and especially after…right?" She stated more than asked.

Deacon fell silent on the other end.

Spinning around, holding the phone away from her, Rayna ran her free hand over her face.

"We just can't. Not after the Bluebird. Not now." she concluded.

"It's _just_ writing Rayna." He responded dryly.

"It's never just..."

"You'd better go." He cut her off mid sentence.

"I'd better go." She replied, thrown by his abrupt interruption.

"Bye Rayna." Then the phone went dead.

"Bye Deacon." She countered, glaring at her phone.

Shoving the phone in her pocket she stormed through the entrance doors. Fuelled by her anger she was half surprised at how happy she was to be in the one place she hated the most. Spotting her sister, Father and husband she waved.

"I'm so sorry I was late. Last minute changes to scheduling for the tour were harder to organise than I'd thought. Arena venues are ridiculous." She awkwardly sat trying to figure out how much trouble she was in for being late.

"It's about time…nice of you to join us Rayna." Lamar exclaimed as he took a sip from his cup before returning to a discussion he seemed to have been having with her sister.

"I've already ordered for you." Teddy whispered.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. The night isn't over yet."

Staring at him she wondered what that had meant. She had after all accompanied him to a dinner that she clearly didn't want to be at. The evening started off well, she drifted in and out of small talk, always finding herself thinking how mad she had been at Deacon for hanging up on her. But was it his fault? She couldn't blame him because she had told him that writing was out of the question, knowing full well that would hurt him. Ripped from her reveries, she realised that everyone was staring at her.

"Well are you Rayna?" Tandie asked again.

"Sorry, am I what?" Rayna responded a little dazed.

"She doesn't have to answer that." Teddy interfered, squeezing his fists as he shifted uneasily in his seat.

"Answer what? Someone tell me what is going on!" Rayna pleaded, clearly unaware of what was actually going on.

"Will you be returning for the Election Night? You have put time aside in that _schedule_ of yours to be here to _support_ your _husband._" Lamar smiled too gladly as he watched Rayna squirm in her seat.

"What's the question in there Daddy?" she asked sweetly, leaning her elbows on the table.

No one answered her.

"It seems like you want a specific answer. What do you want me to say?" Rayna snapped.

"How about showing your husband some support, _your family_ some support."

"How dare you..." Rayna shook her head.

"You have time for arena tours, meanwhile you're unable to give a straight answer as to whether you can stand by Teddy's side on Election Night…or any other day for that matter." Lamar quipped.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rayna exclaimed.

Teddy raised a hand, attempting to step in to referee this escalating conversation. Telling Teddy to be quiet, she stared at Lamar waiting for an answer.

"If you are honest with yourself, you know that when I say that you and Teddy rarely _connect_ anymore, you will know that I am right… After all, Teddy told me himself." Lamar smiled; leaning back into his seat waiting to hear what comeback she would have to this observation. Furious, Rayna nearly knocked her drink off the table, now focused on her husband.

"You said that?!"

"Rayna…I told him _in confidence_, that you and I have had better days, his _conclusion_ was purely his own." Teddy glared across the table at his Father-in-law.

"You." Rayna gripped the table.

"...have gone too far. First you accuse me of not supporting my family and now you take pleasure in analysing what happens in our bed…"

Rayna gestured to Teddy. She could feel tears beginning to burn her eyes.

"You're getting far too emotional." Lamar mockingly soothed.

Tandy interjected "Rayna, just forget it ok."

Teddy ran his hands over his face, now embarrassed and angry that a supposed friendly dinner had gone so terribly wrong. Rayna had had enough. Pushing her chair backwards she spoke angrily, only loud enough for her table to hear.

"You know what? Thanks for dinner Daddy, thanks. I didn't come tonight to hear this. I came to support my husband. I will not sit here and have you pull apart every _word_ and every _thing_ I do. I don't appreciate it..."

"Rayna, don't d..." Teddy offered his hand as comfort but she ignored him.

"And I'll have you know _that I know_ that you lied about our lack of _connection_." She motioned to Teddy "…because the sex is incredible."

She stormed out; intent on leaving the shock of that last statement to hang in the air, regardless of the fact that it had been completely false. As she walked to her car, tears began to fall. By the time she was in the driver's seat she was dialling Deacon's number asking him to meet her at the studio.


	3. Chapter 3

**NB: There is a song that Deacon and Rayna sing in this chapter that belongs to two very gifted artists by the names of Greg Laswell & Ingrid Michaelson. The song is called 'The Light In Me'. I really liked the idea of Deacon and Rayna singing together in a personal setting and this song fits them well, so that is why I put it in here. Check it out!**

* * *

******CHAPTER THREE**

"No... you can't use that...it's too…" Rayna made a face as she stared at squiggles on different pieces of paper.

"You're not even giving it a chance." Deacon laughed as he leant over his guitar.

"I'm not giving it a chance because it's stupid."

Deacon hadn't asked any questions when she had called. He wasn't quite sure what had changed her mind when she asked him to meet her at the studio, but he listened to the excuses she gave as she attempted to convince him to join her. He heard the desperation in her voice and knew that regardless of how frustrated he was with her, he would give in and agree to go. Within half an hour they were both pulling out guitars and notepads, occasionally looking up to offer a smile.

"Do you know how rude that is?! My work is _hardly_ stupid."

Rayna rolled her eyes "It's called co-writing for a reason. We can't keep everything you want to keep. It just isn't happening."

"Fine. If I can't keep that, then I say we get rid of yours." Deacon picked up a pen and scribbled out lyrics she had been working on.

They were the only ones left in the studio. Everyone else seemed to have called it a night well over 2 hours ago. Sitting on the floor they had argued over lyric after lyric, occasionally stopping to grab a caffeine hit or stretch their legs.

After the night she had endured, writing music with Deacon was exactly where she wanted to be. She knew it was the worst idea she had had in a long while. Nevertheless, it was the only one she had. She needed to clear her head. He had been the first person that had come to mind once she'd stormed out. Rayna hadn't hesitated to call but she had been worried he would reject her. Surprisingly, he had answered and it was as if their earlier argument had been forgotten. Either that or he was saving what he wanted to say for later. It didn't matter because when she hung up he had agreed to meet her.

Giving up, she fell backwards and lay on the floor covering her face with her hands to hide her eyes from the light, and Deacon. She peaked at the clock on the wall. 1:34am. Teddy was going to kill her. She hadn't left him any messages letting him know where she'd gone. He'd had the sense not to call, leaving her a little relieved but uncertain as to what she could expect when she got home.

"Hey! Get up! Stay awake. I don't wanna be doing this all by myself." Deacon tapped her foot with his knee trying to get her attention.

"Hmm…leave me alone."

"Fine, I'll add this line...the one you _love_ so much...as half of this song writing team I am making an executive decision to put it in." He teased, hoping to provoke her.

"No don't…its total rubbish." She sat up immediately.

They both laughed.

"I've got an idea. Since you don't like my lyrical choices right now…I have this song I've been working on and I wanted to hear your thoughts." He suggested as he began to play a melody unfamiliar to her ear. Rayna nodded and sat patiently. Seconds later he began to sing.

"I've tried my hand at silence but it seems I should come clean. When it comes to you and me girl I've avoided saying one thing. It's been there for a while now, this liar will now sing, till your mine I'll sing."

Instinctively, she cut in on him and sung a spontaneous response.

"Oh baby, my baby, you've helped me through many broken hearts. And maybe, just maybe you can fix all my broken parts."

This made them both smile. Writing together came so easily. It was second nature, comfortable and familiar, a safe place to be. Deacon motioned to scrawl on some paper, indicating for her to follow his lead. They sung together.

"And you took me by surprise when you took my hand." Rayna reached out and squeezed his knee, comfortably singing a harmony "And you with your dark brown eyes. You see the light that I can't see. You see the light in me."

He played a resolve chord and smiled at her.

"Not half bad." He teased.

"Not half bad?" She pushed him off balance.

By reflex he grabbed her wrist and they stopped laughing. He carefully let go of her arm and moved to push a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. Rayna didn't move as his fingers brushed over her cheek, running down her arm. She shivered. Deacon was grateful she hadn't pulled away, but he knew that whatever _this_ was, it wasn't supposed to be happening.

Moving closer, he reached out for her hand, pulling her to him. She guardedly let herself fall into his arms and he steadied her. Rayna felt the heat of his chest against her palms and her breathing became shallow. Deacon wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers. Rayna smiled at the reawakened connection.

Suddenly she scrambled to her feet, leaving Deacon a little confused. They hadn't realised that her phone had been buzzing.

"My phone! Where is it?!" she exclaimed as she followed the sound until she found it. Backing away from Deacon, she rubbed her sweaty palms on her pants and nervously focused on answering it.

"Hey babe." She answered with false enthusiasm. Deacon cringed.

"I'm not angry. Pissed off, but not angry." She kicked her foot as she was listening him. "Why would I be mad at you?"

Discreetly, Deacon began to pack up their things, taking this phone call to mean they would be calling it a night. Arms folded she looked back over her shoulder at Deacon as he motioned that he was going to leave. Rayna held up her hand with a pleading look convincing him to wait for her.

"Yeah, I'll be home in 20. I was just writing some new material, possibly tour worthy." Rayna smiled up at Deacon. He simply shook his head.

"You too. Ok. Bye." She hung up.

Pointing to the phone she spoke.

"Teddy. Wanting to know when I was coming home. Dinner didn't end so well."

"You don't have to explain anything."

"Yes I do."

"No, you really don't." Deacon pushed the front doors open for them as they walked to the parking lot.

"Deacon!?" She spun, stepping in front him.

"Rayna!?" He matched her tone, avoiding her eyes.

"Look at me." Rayna pleaded, searching his face.

Deacon closed his eyes, breathing heavy as the cold began to creep up on them. He stepped past her and headed towards his car.

"Please don't do this." She walked after him.

"I can't do _this_." He gestured between them both.

"Whatever _this_ is…is not my fault. I'm not the one walking away right now!" She crossed her arms.

"Don't do that…you know exactly what I mean Rayna."

"What _do_ you mean Deacon?"

"Hell Rayna…the Bluebird, ignoring my calls, blowing me off, you firing me, then there's what happened…in there…what ever the hell that was" He pointed to the studio "…and you don't see what I mean!" he slammed his back door shut after hurling his guitar on the seat.

"We could also bring up Teddy, but there's no point in doing that because you put me in rehab and married the guy…so I'm kind of bias as to what I think about that whole situation. It's total bull by the way!" He slammed the side of his car with his hand.

Rayna froze. She didn't want to admit it but she knew he was right; she had just desperately tried to avoid having this conversation, or any kind of confrontation for that matter.

"Deacon." She nervously tugged at her hair.

"You can lie but I know that you feel it too." He pointed at her.

Rayna stepped closer to him, where they stood inches apart.

"I don't know what you want from me." She whispered, lying unconvincingly.

"We both know you settled for him."

Retreating, Deacon shook the mood; shoving his hands into his pockets to prevent anything he'd later regret doing.

"We're both going on separate tours in a few days. Let's just forget _this_… Or maybe I'm only talking to myself because you have a tendency to _always_ leave me out of your picture."

Rayna ran her hands through her hair.

"That's not fair Dea-" She choked.

"-Go home Rayna… your _husband_ is waiting." He added bitterly before storming around to his driver door.

Hurt and angry, Rayna crossed her arms to hug herself, carefully hiding her face from Deacon's view as he pulled out of the parking lot.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Closing the front door, she chucked off her shoes and threw her keys on the foyer stand. She'd had a lot of thinking to do on the drive home. She thought about what had happened over the past few weeks and how her life had been pulled out from beneath her and put back in a way that didn't feel right.

She had shrunk at the words Deacon had said and simmered at those spoken by her Father. Attention to the details was making her squirm. Nothing seemed to be making sense anymore. She wanted to shut the world out, even for a few small hours. It was then that Rayna realised she wanted one thing. She needed to know that she had made the right decision all those years ago. She had to be certain that she hadn't fooled herself into choosing Teddy out of fear or desperation. Rayna just wanted to be close to him.

Despite their estranged affection, the illusion that 'everything was fine' was enough for her. Almost too urgently she sprinted up the stairs to their bedroom where Teddy lay asleep. She crawled into bed and wrapped her hands around his waist.

"Hi." He murmured, turning to face her after waking from her touch.

"Hi." She replied moving closer to him.

"I'm sorry." He resigned as he touched her face.

"Me too."

Moving her hands to get warm they lay silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry for mentioning what I did before I left. I was just angry." Rayna timidly offered.

"Don't worry. The shock value made it bearable."

"Yeah well, bringing sex into casual conversation would do that."

They laughed as he wrapped his hands around her waist, causing her to let an unintentional gasp. Leaning in she kissed him lightly. Taken aback initially by her advance he paused. Fearful that she had read him wrong she began to pull away only to have Teddy pull her back to him, deeply kissing her. It didn't take long till he fully responded, struggling to free himself from the sheets he climbed on top of her. This time he returned to her lips, kissing her with such force that she giggled lowly pushing him off her so she now lay on top of him. He kissed her neck and she let out an involuntary sigh as she pressed herself against him. The countless lonely and strained nights they had spent in recent days had left them with unquenched desire and pent-up hunger to be loved in this way by one other.

"Kiss me." She implored breathlessly.

Teddy responded by instantly flipping her to lie underneath him kissing her passionately.

[ * * * ]

"I can't find it anywhere!" Daphne whinged as she circled the kitchen in search of her homework.

"Don't look at me. I didn't have it last…" Teddy laughed as he made breakfast.

Rayna walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee. Not long after she had, Maddie flew through on her cell phone, only to have Teddy yell after her to slow down.

"Momma, I don't know where it is."

"Well…when did you last see it?" Rayna soothed as she drank her drink.

"If I knew that I'd be able to find it…"

"Maddie, get off that cell phone!" Teddy called. "Breakfast is ready."

Grumbling, Maddie sat down not long after Daphne and they ate together.

"Good morning." Teddy kissed Rayna with a smile.

"Good morning." She giggled, tugging on his front trouser pocket.

"What are you smiling at?" Teddy asked.

"I'd tell you..." she discreetly nodded in the direction of their daughters "... But I don't think it's all that _appropriate_."

They both laughed. Last night had been nothing special. It had been a frantic, desperate and hungry pursuit. Almost like they had been trying to figure out where they stood with one another. Rayna tried not to dwell on the details, however she couldn't shake the sense that as good as it had felt, something was missing. _We both know you settled for him. _Those had been Deacon's final words last night. The thought that she had 'settled' when she chose Teddy was something she couldn't afford to entertain so she pushed it away. This aside, when the sun had risen they had woken happy that they were lying side by side.

Catching her eye, Rayna unthinkingly leaned over the counter pulling papers away from Daphne's orange juice disaster.

"Daphne! My skirt!" Maddie raged as she ran to change.

"My homework!" Daphne beamed.

Confused Teddy and Rayna looked at their youngest child. Running around the counter Daphne grabbed the papers out of Rayna's hand.

"Thanks Mommy."

"No problem?" Rayna answered, watching her skip out of the room.

Leaving Rayna to clean up the mess Teddy went in search of his daughters, knowing full well that if he didn't intervene there would be tears.

Teddy's cell phone rang, frustrated because she didn't have a free hand, Rayna called out for someone to answer it. When no one replied she chucked the cloth in the sink, hesitantly picking up the cell phone with sticky hands. Clumsily she held it to her ear.

"Teddy's phone." She said matter-of-factly.

"Hello?" Said the female voice on the other end.

"Tandy?" Rayna straightened.

"Who am I speaking to?" Said the other woman.

"This is his wife. _Who_ am _I _speaking to?" Rayna demanded.

"Rayna? it's Peggy. Is Teddy around?" Peggy replied.

Anger began to bubble inside of Rayna. This woman had a lot of nerve calling him like this, let alone asking if he was around. The images of the tabloid headings and pictures flashed in her mind. The words intimate, lonely and affair particularly stood out. She suddenly forgot the late night escapades she and Teddy had shared, feeling physically ill.

"He can't come to the phone right now."

"I'm sorry. It's just…Rayna I know I'm the last person you want to talk to, but I need to talk to Teddy, it's important. He's not answering any of my calls."

"Seriously? You have a lot of nerve calling like this."

"I don't want to argu-" Peggy tried.

"Neither do I." Rayna hung up the phone.

Immediately, opening his messages she began to scroll, in search of the one thing she didn't want to see but knew she'd find. Her trembling fingers stopped at the message conversation titled Peggy. Raising her hand to her mouth she began to read.

Peggy: I can't do this. I need to see you.

Teddy: We can't talk about this. I'm busy.

Peggy: Please. I was there when you needed me. I need you now.

Teddy: No really, I can't see you because I'm out with family.

Peggy: It won't take long.

Teddy: I can't.

Teddy: Raincheck? I can be there in 15. Tonight didn't go as planned, Rayna left early so we called it a night.

Peggy: Meet you at our usual place.

Teddy: This is the last time.

Peggy: It's always the last time.

Nauseated, Rayna gripped the bench for support, struggling to breathe properly. The messages had been time stamped from last night. How could Teddy have done this to her? She had trusted him. Throwing the phone on the counter she scanned the kitchen for her keys, remembering she'd left them in the foyer.

At that moment Maddie, Teddy and Daphne scuttled down the stairs talking about a number of things, what exactly she wasn't sure. Teddy looked up and smiled at her and she was nearly sick. The walls felt as though they were falling, it was then that she realised she'd gone down to the ground, landing on her knees. Teddy rushed towards her ushering the girls into the study. She flinched when he touched her, causing her to push him away as she indecisively stood. She grabbed her keys and headed for the front door.

"Rayna?" Teddy asked worried.

Shaking her head, between trying to keep her stomach at ease she opened the door.

"Peggy called." Rayna whispered as she slammed it shut, leaving Teddy alone in the front foyer.

"Daddy?" Daphne asked anxiously, peeking out from behind the study door.

"What's going on?" Maddie begged.

"Where did she go?" Daphne tugged at her uniform looking at Maddie.

"Did you do something?"

"She's going to be ok isn't she?"

"She didn't look ok." Daphne said wide-eyed.

"Mom's not leaving without saying goodbye?" Maddie choked, realising that Rayna left for the tour tomorrow. This sentence caught Daphne's attention, worry washing over her face.

"Dad, she's com-" Maddie started.

"-I don't know!" Teddy shouted, not intending to come across so harsh.

"I don't know…" He tried again softly.

"She is coming home right?" Daphne whispered.

Teddy opened his arms, encouraging the girls to come to him. Once he had assured them everything would be all right, he picked up the home phone and apprehensively dialled Rayna's number.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Once she'd slammed the front door, Rayna vomited all over the front lawn. In between gasps for air and tears she dialled Deacon's number, clinging to hope that he'd pick up. He didn't answer, making her even more hysterical. The thought that he had cut his losses when it came to her made her skin crawl. Rayna reminded herself that they hadn't said goodbye on the best terms last night, cursing herself for thinking he'd even want to speak to her. She tried calling again and the call went straight to voicemail. Reluctantly, Rayna forced herself into some sort of autopilot, hopping in her car she headed to the first stop on her long list of places to go for the day. She had no choice but to throw off the rejection she was feeling. Rayna's cell phone rang and she swerved the car, reaching to answer it.

"Deacon?!" She squeaked.

"It's me." The voice on the other end replied flatly.

Horrified, Rayna realised she'd just greeted her husband with Deacon's name. She was far too mad and confused to speak to him so before he could say another word she hung up.

The day dragged on, back to back meetings all blurred into one. She'd even managed to have a discussion with Juliette that wasn't drenched in insults and belittlement. If she remembered correctly she'd made a comment about how she like the dress Juliette was wearing. Seriously? What was wrong with her? Their tour seemed to be taking shape and in her opinion tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

She had become accustomed to ignoring her cell phone after what had happened earlier when she'd been in the car. She was sure Teddy had called more times then she cared to count. Rayna wasn't interested in hearing what he had to say, at least not right now. The thought that Teddy could be sleeping with _Peggy _had left her insides in pieces. It was one thing for the tabloids to gossip about an affair, but to hear and see things that could validate those rumours was repulsing. Standing at the back of the auditorium she watched tech guys fix a few things for Juliette's rehearsal. She didn't really want to be here but she was prolonging the inevitable journey home.

"Bad day?" Liam joined her and she smiled, nodding in agreement.

"Could say that."

"Well…" He let out a long sigh "You could take it and make music with it. I've got whiskey?" He smiled.

Crossing her arms, Rayna shook her head.

"I think you need it." He pressed.

"It's been a _real _bad day. I'm not really feeling it, even though that's why you're here, to record." She reflected.

"I was talking about the whiskey." He laughed, grabbing her by the hand, leading her out a side door.

** - NASHVILLE -**

Slamming the shot glasses on the table Liam and Rayna collapsed into a giggling heap on the lounge. They'd retreated to a green room out the back somewhere, shutting themselves away from the chaos of last minute tour preparation going on outside.

"Just forget it. Seriously." Liam shook his head.

"You don't forget something like this…you don't _just_ forget." She shook her finger, a little tipsy.

"Screw him for sleeping with her…no pun intended." He poured them both another drink. This comment had her in fits of laughter as she hid her face in the arm of the lounge. Liam put another full shot glass in her hand and told her to drink up.

"Well I did that already." She smirked "Last night actually…clearly I'm the idiot..."

Liam raised an eyebrow as he sipped from his glass.

"You're not an idiot."

"You're just saying that because you have to."

"Have to?" Liam queried.

"Well yeah, you have to because we're partners." She shrugged her shoulders, stating what she thought was obvious.

"I don't have to, actually." He mocked.

She reached out a hand and squeezed his reassuringly, putting her glass to her lips to take another sip.

"How many is this?" Rayna asked, pointing to her glass. Liam shrugged.

"I don't usually keep tabs on the number of drinks I give to an emotionally charged woman."

"I'm not emotionally charged!" Rayna shrieked, slapping his knee. Liam answered her by gesturing to her unmannerly pass at him.

"Ok, maybe a _little_ emotional." She agreed.

"Either that or your drunk." He lightly nudged her shoulder.

"Either that or yes, I am drunk."

Shifting so that they sat closer Liam looked at her seriously.

"This whole Teddy cheating thing, is that all that's wrong with you? I mean I know that you know things between you and Teddy haven't been smooth sailing at the moment…and you kind of seem a little more edgy than normal."

Rayna rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink.

"Why does it even matter?"

"Because it does."

"No it doesn't Liam. Just leave it."

"Clearly, I've hit a nerve." Liam breathed as he took her glass off her, setting it on the table.

"Give me that back." She pushed past him to get the drink and he stopped her.

"You've had enough." He said smoothly.

"Two seconds ago you said you weren't in the habit of taking away women's drinks…"

"Two seconds ago you weren't looking at me as if I was the enemy."

"What? I'm not looking at-"

"-You kind of are."

Rayna lay her head on her arms and began to cry. She wasn't sure if it was because she was feeling dark and twisted inside or if it was the after effects of having 4 too many drinks.

"Why is everything so damn hard?" She whimpered.

"You're kind of giving me nothing to work with. What are we talking about?"

"Life, music, careers, tours, marriage, Deac…" She stopped herself mid sentence.

"Deacon? What does he have to do with anything?"

"I didn't say that."

"Is this about Deacon choosing to take the Revel Kings offer to tour instead of coming with you?"

"I fired him remember? So there wasn't an offer from me for him to choose." Rayna joked, bitterness in her voice. "…Not everything about Deacon and I is about music." She choked.

"What's it about then?" He tilted his head as he looked at the crying mess sitting next to him.

"It's about…everythi…everything about him…It's so much more…you know, he keeps telling me I settled…and right now...all I can think about is him…Liam, all I can think about is Deacon." She buried her head further into the safety of her arms.

Choosing to leave the comments alone, they sat in silence for a while.

"For what it's worth, Teddy is crazy for ever looking at another woman…especially Peggy." He said sincerely, trying to avoid bringing Deacon back into conversation. Rayna was a little woozy and didn't quite register what Liam had said. She lifted her head and looked at him curiously.

"You're sexy Rayna. Don't forget that. He's crazy if he doesn't see that." He assured her, eyes wild.

"…Alright you're saying that because, you Mr are drunk." She giggled.

Liam didn't see his compliment as funny. Not giving her time to recover he promptly leant over and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Rayna didn't have time to respond because Deacon came crashing through the door.

"What the hell is going on?!" Deacon yelled.

Rayna and Liam instantly jumped away from one another. Both frazzled and painfully embarrassed. Rayna furthered herself from the situation, standing up and walking backwards as she shook her head.

"Deacon it's not wha-" she choked out before he cut her off.

"-The hell it's not!..." Deacon shouted.

"We were just..just." Rayna started, wiping her mouth.

Deacon looked around and smelt the alcohol in the air.

"Ray, are you…are you drunk?" Deacon fumed, trying to get a hold on the situation.

"No!" Rayna hiccupped.

"You're drunk Rayna." Deacon stated.

Rayna shook her head, guilt written all over her face.

"Seriously? Liam you're a piece of work getting her wasted the night before the tour starts. Classy. Can't even let her decide if she wants to be here with you without using alcohol."

"Deacon, I _wanted_ to be here!" Rayna exclaimed, although she was sure that Deacon hadn't heard her because his eyes where fixed on Liam.

"Hey! I was just helping." Liam raised his hands in surrender.

"Helping. By sticking your tongue down her throat." Deacon scoffed.

"Well it's more than you've done lately." Liam smirked.

Rayna saw the fire ignite in Deacon's eyes as Liam spoke and she threw herself between both men. There was not going to be a fight tonight. She couldn't deal with anything like that happening. Out of all the people to have walked in, it had to be Deacon. Rayna shook her head as she thought how she'd clearly gotten herself into a hopeless situation.

"Deacon no! Pleas-" She yelled as she raised her hands out to him.

"-You're an idiot. You touch her again…I swear..." He spat at Liam over Rayna's shoulder as she pushed against him, trying to stop him from launching an attack.

"You'll wha-" Liam began.

"Shush it. Y'all need to stop." Rayna cut in on both of them, causing silence to fill the room. Finally Deacon spoke.

"Ray, get your things, I'm driving you home."

"Deacon I don't need to be driven home. I'm fine, honestly." She replied, failing to steady herself.

"I could drive you or you could call Teddy and ask him to pick you up looking like this." He offered, looking her up and down.

Mortified she let her eyes stray in Liam's direction to say goodbye before slowly walking out of the room.

"You touch her again and I swear I will come for you…" Deacon threatened Liam now that Rayna had left the room.

"It was just a kiss." Liam defended.

"She's married! She has a husband." Deacon said with his voice low.

"And that's never stopped you before?"

"I've never-"

"But you've wanted to… You've got her all confused you know? She was rambling about you tonight…how she is always thinking about you." Liam coaxed as he walked over to Deacon.

This caught Deacon off guard as he stepped backwards towards the door, curiosity written all over his face.

"Forget it." Liam shook his head, letting out a small laugh.

"Stay away from her!" Deacon breathed, storming out of the room. He turned the corner to see Rayna wide-eyed and red faced.

"How much of that did you hear?" Deacon asked, avoiding her eyes as he walked past her.

"Enough." She replied uneasily, struggling to catch up to him as he flew out the exit doors.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

Silence hung between them as Deacon pulled out of the parking lot. It was well after 8pm and her head was hurting. Every minute that passed made her regret the number of drinks she'd had. She couldn't even remember an exact number; Liam hadn't gotten around to clarifying how many she had had. It was all a little fuzzy. Deacon hadn't spoken a word since he'd blown up inside. He had simply led her to his car and opened the passenger door for her before hopping in himself.

As they sat in the quiet, Rayna was grateful he was here at all. She had thought they were well and truly over. Rayna couldn't have been more wrong. Here he was picking up the pieces, her pieces. She had heard the way Deacon had threatened Liam when she'd left the room, curiosity encouraging her to stop mid step and listen. She stood wide-eyed at the words that came from both of their mouths. Rayna wished she hadn't lingered as long as she had because Liam only baited Deacon with things that would hurt him, throwing her vulnerable confessions in his face. She turned cherry red, feeling the sting of the things Liam had no right to share. Deacon's abrupt exit had given her no time to recompose herself so she had simply followed, painfully aware that he was just as confused as she was.

"Deacon…" Rayna tried.

"You kissed him." He replied flatly.

"He kissed me actually."

"You kisse-"

"Seriously? I thought you of all people would have known me better by now…I don't just kiss anyone." Rayna shot, crossing her arms.

"That's for sure." Deacon gripped the steering wheel.

"I've had a real bad day, don't be make comments like tha-" Rayna began.

"Like what?!"

"You know _exactly_ what I mean." She shook her head. "Why were you even here?"

"Why was I even…? Maybe I was here because Teddy called me telling me he couldn't get a hold of you…I knew that if he was calling, something had to have gone down…he _never_ calls me."

Rayna sat in silence as he continued.

"I went looking for you, no one knew where you were. Not Bucky, not anyone. You just disappeared. I thought I'd find you huddled somewhere by yourself. Instead I walk in on you and Liam in a drunk and passionate _embrace_." He spat the last words out.

"It's not what you think." She said weakly. Her head was beginning to hurt.

"What is it then?" He gripped the steering wheel tighter as they pulled to a stop at a red light.

"You know how the tabloids said Teddy was having an affair? Turns out I was the only one stupid enough to believe he didn't do it…" Rayna let out a nervous laugh as she looked out her window.

"I told you he was chea-" Deacon started.

"-And I'm telling you now...so let me talk…" Rayna exclaimed. "Teddy's having an affair…at least I think he is ok."

They sat silent for a while.

"That doesn't explain Liam."

"Hmm? I was sure that we were talking about Teddy?" Rayna said facetiously.

"Liam?...What I walked in on tonight?" Deacon explained.

"Deacon, he offered me whiskey after a long day. He was being a friend. That's all." She bluntly offered.

"He did more than give you whiskey. He came on to you Ray... That's mighty _friendly_ of him." Deacon spat.

"I didn't kiss him ok? He came onto me. I think it had a lot to do with all the alcohol. We were both pretty woozy…I'm _still_ pretty woozy…" Rayna pressed, fanning her face.

"Friends don't pull those kinds of moves Ray." He spoke calmly. Rayna bit her tongue, trying to ignore the tinge of bitterness in his voice.

"I know." She agreed as he pulled into her driveway.

"Because if that's what friends did, I would have done that along time ago." He looked out his window, avoiding her eyes.

She stared strangely at him, hoping he'd look at her. Had she just heard him right? He had just confessed that he wanted to kiss her. Or was she hearing things? Rayna blinked, trying to clear the haziness in her mind. She remembered Liam's attempt to get Deacon to admit he wanted to kiss her, but this was different. Rayna wasn't imagining it, she was sure she had made the right conclusion. No wonder he couldn't look at her. Deacon wasn't mad; he was hurt because she hadn't been honest with him. He'd found out how she really felt, second hand from Liam who in essence only told him out of spite. Deacon had thought that she didn't care about him like he did her. Rayna reached for the rights words but nothing came. Touching his hand, she squeezed it, hoping she could make him feel what she did. He responded, before quickly letting go.

"Well we've always been _more_ than friends…" She whispered finally, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

He searched her face, trying to figure out what she meant. Rayna wasn't being much help because her eyes were intently focused on her fingers.

"Haven't we?" She asked a little self-consciously. "Please don't leave me hangin-"

Deacon reached out his hand; intertwining his fingers with hers, he pulled her hand to his mouth and gently kissed it. Rayna shut her eyes tightly. Tilting her chin up so he could see her face, Deacon waited to see that she was comfortable with him being this close to her. When Rayna didn't move he looked at her lips, slowly leaning towards her. Rayna shivered, her breathing heavy as she followed his lead. They were inches apart when light flooded through the misty car windows. Rayna jumped, shielding her eyes. Deacon swore, scratching his head irritably.

The porch light had turned on and they both looked out the window cautiously. Teddy was obviously trying to state some point that he knew she was outside and he was waiting for her. Collecting themselves, they uncomfortably looked around the car. Rayna cleared her throat, twirling her hair into a messy twist, letting it fall loose over her shoulders. Deacon took this as his cue to talk. He cleared his throat.

"Do you want me to walk you to the door?"

"No, I think I better do this on my own."

Deacon nodded and they both sat quietly, fidgeting.

"Look about what jus-" Deacon started.

"-Let's just forget it…" Rayna tried, nervously looking in his direction to see if she had finished his sentence correctly. She sensed she hadn't finished like he would have hoped.

"Is that what you want?" He asked. Rayna nodded indecisively, her eyes saying everything words could never do.

"Is that what you want?" She asked. He clenched his jaw, rubbing his hand over his face, hesitantly nodding.

"Well…" Rayna reached for the door handle, relieved that she was escaping the awkwardness.

"Is he going on tour with you?" Deacon said flatly. Rayna swore under her breath.

"_Liam_ is coming to _record_ with me in between shows." She said shakily as she watched Deacon grip the steering wheel tightly.

"You'd better go." He whispered, not looking at her.

Rayna wanted nothing more then to stay in the car with him, but reality was too cruel a reminder that inside her home was World War III waiting to happen. She tried to think of something to say but came up with nothing. Settling with saying thank you and goodbye, she hopped out of his car and walked to the front door. She turned around to wave goodbye but he was already driving out the gate. Rayna cursed herself as she stood, staring out into the darkness. Not only had she lied when she had told Deacon she wanted to forget it, she knew he had lied too.

**-NASHVILLE-**

As he drove down the street Deacon picked up his cell phone and dialled Juliette's number.

"Hey, does the offer to come on tour with you still stand?"

"Sure it does…hang on, aren't you touring with the Revel Kings, like tomorrow or something?" Juliette asked.

"I won't be if you take me."

"Alright. We leave tomorrow, 7am."

"See you then." He went to hang up the phone but Juliette spoke.

"Why?"

He put the phone back to his ear. "Why what?"

"Why now? Why tour with me after making it clear you didn't want to before?"

"Sometimes you just need a change. It's something I need to do."

Juliette didn't buy it.

"So this has nothing to do with Rayna?" She questioned.

"I'm not gonna leave you high and dry and switch bands mid tour if that's what you're asking." He answered.

"That's not what I asked."

"Listen, Ray…Rayna is the last person I should be playing guitar for at the moment. She fired me remember?"

"So this does have something to do with her…. As an artist who wants the best of the best I say, come on tour with me! But as a friend I say, do you think this is a good idea?" Juliette settled.

"Can we just leave it alone Juliette?" He begged.

"As long as you know that I think that this may be a real bad idea. I hope she's worth it Deacon."

"Noted."

"Alright, if you're sure. Welcome to the team. I'll see you tomorrow at the airstrip. 7am." Juliette hung up.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Rayna walked into the low-lit kitchen, steadying herself as she reached the counter. She hadn't noticed Teddy sitting in an armchair when she walked over to the fridge because she was too focused on walking straight and thinking about Deacon.

"I've been calling you all day." Teddy spoke, causing Rayna to jump as she slammed the fridge shut, turning around in search of his voice.

"I was busy." She giggled. The alcohol clearly hadn't worn off like she thought it had because now she found herself laughing at something that was anything but funny.

"Are you drunk?" Teddy narrowed his eyes, trying to get a better sense of why she was behaving the way she was.

"No. I had a _few_ drinks. That isn't classified as drunk." Rayna replied, putting her hands to her hips.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on?" Teddy asked.

"How about you tell me what's going on." Rayna leant against the countertop.

"Rayna I've been calling you all day. Don't you check your phone? We've...I've been worried."

"Yeah well I'm sure you found things to do in between the calls to me." She muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Teddy gripped the top of a chair.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She imitated him.

"It means, I'm such an idiot for believing in this!" She pointed to her wedding ring "I checked your phone this morning."

"You checked my-?!" Teddy yelled.

"-Mmm...Yeah I did. Seems like you and _Peggy_ have a lot more to talk about then you let on." She nodded her head viciously.

"I have no idea what you read but it's not what it looks like-" He began to answer.

"-I trusted you!" She shouted over him as tears began to form. "…I trusted you and you threw it in my face!"

"Rayn-"

"-When I asked you if you were having an affair with her you talked me round to believe nothing happened." She pointed at him.

"Why are you yelling?!" He snapped.

"I'm not yelling!" She hissed.

"The girls are in the next room!"

"I know that!" She exclaimed, stomping her foot.

"I don't see how this is any different from you and Deacon." Teddy changed tracks as he moved from gripping one chair to another.

"This is _completely_ diff-"

"-Really Rayna? Is it? I've lost count the number of times I've asked you if you were sleeping with _him_…Should I think of myself as an idiot for believing in this?" Teddy belittled her by pointing to his wedding ring.

"Do not mock me." She spoke steadily before abruptly reaching across the bench for his cell phone. Teddy tried to catch her hand but was too slow.

"Don't do that." He insisted.

"Why? If you have nothing to hide then looking at these…" Rayna began to scroll through his cell phone in search of the messages she had seen earlier that day "…shouldn't be a problem. Maybe you could clarify them for me...here's my phone." She slid her phone across the bench, offering it to him. "Check it if you like."

Teddy ignored her request, simply glaring at her. As Rayna had expected, he had deleted them because the messages were now non-existent.

"No messages from Peggy. That's funny, because there was a long conversation between the both of you on this cell phone this morning." She said irritably, waving the cell phone in the air.

"It was nothing."

"If it was nothing why did you delete it?!" She exclaimed.

"It's nothing!" He matched her volume.

"Well I know one of the messages said something about meeting at your usual place..."

"Usual place?" Teddy repeated, slightly bewildered.

Rayna crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation.

"You wanna know what's really going on Rayna?" Teddy shouted, making her jump. "What's going on is you're never around…it gets lonely, we don't talk like we used to…last night was the first time we'd had sex in months…"

Squeezing her eyes shut she shook her head. Rayna had heard these things too many times before. They were his best points in any argument they had, regardless of the situation. He would place the blame on her, her career and the long hours. Sure it was a bid to make her feel guilty and at times it worked. Why Teddy would always tiptoe around what he wanted to say she didn't know. It was like they had started to thrive off making things complicated. Letting out a low sigh, Rayna played with her fingers, bracing herself for what she knew was coming next.

"…And Deac…I know I was your second choice. You don't even have to say it. I know it. You have no idea what that feels like for me?" Teddy exclaimed.

"No idea what it's like for you?! You call yourself the second choice! You put yourself in that place!" She yelled.

And there it was. He had successfully brought Deacon into the equation, comparing his so-called harmless relationship with Peggy to her entire history with Deacon. They stood in silence, both searching for the right thing to say next. When Rayna thought that they had hit the climax of this argument Teddy spoke.

"Twice...it was twice." he finally confessed. Rayna looked at him a little thrown. "You were away on tour in 2001…and I was lonely, we'd had a huge fight on the phone about Deacon…Peggy was there…it happened years ago. Before you came home I broke it off…that was until last night. I went to talk with her and she kissed me. I kissed her back. I wanted to sleep with her…but I didn't…I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you…last night, it was only a kiss."

Rayna steadied herself by gracelessly ripping her shoes off and tying her hair back. She had to focus on anything but his face. The blow of his honesty had knocked out her wind, leaving her reeling in all kinds of anger. Guilt began to slowly creep into her bones. How could she be so angry when only hours ago she had kissed Liam, well he had kissed her. Before Rayna had time to think she blurted out what she'd been thinking.

"You kissed…you kissed _Liam_?!" Teddy said with a horrified look on his face. She shook her head, correcting him like she had Deacon. Liam had kissed her; it hadn't been the other way around. Teddy shook his head. What a mess they had made.

"I didn't sleep with him…and I wouldn't sleep with him either. I wouldn't hurt you like that." She avoided his eyes, feeling some sort of satisfaction.

"What about Deacon?" Teddy asked, hurt in his voice.

"Why the hell do you keep bringing Deacon into this?!" Rayna demanded, images of what had transpired in Deacon's car prior to this argument flashing in her mind. She pushed them away, crossing her arms.

"It's a valid question. Have you had…do you want to slee-"

"-This isn't about me and my cell phone...and my affair! You just admitted that you wanted to screw Peggy!...again! Were you waiting till I leave tomorrow? Or was that just an added bonus?" Rayna deflected.

"Momma?" Daphne asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes. The appearance of their youngest stopped Teddy and Rayna in their tracks. They both remained tight-lipped, anticipating what she would say.

"You're home. I knew you'd come home." Daphne smiled, running over and hugging her.

"Of course I'm home honey." Rayna soothed.

"Maddie said that you might not come home." Daphne replied.

"Well that's a little silly of your sister don't you think? Of course Mommy's home." Teddy interrupted.

Rayna dropped down so she was eye level with the little girl and kissed her on the nose.

"You, need to be in bed if you're gonna be getting up early to see me off at the airport." Rayna said through strained warmth.

Daphne smiled and nodded, turning on her heel. She quickly ran up the stairs saying goodnight as she went.

They both remained silent until they were certain Daphne was out of earshot. Any kind of attack that they had each intended to launch had been forgotten with the short appearance and disappearance of their youngest. Rayna scratched her head, choosing her next words carefully.

"What are we going to do?" Teddy asked, returning to a much more serious tone.

"Well I know I'm going on tour tomorrow." She answered, knowing full well that was not the answer he had been looking for.

"About us? What are we going to do about us." Teddy pressed.

"I don't know…you've made it pretty clear where you stand in all of this."

"I'm just being honest Rayna." He admitted.

"Yeah well, look where that's got us." She muttered.

"I don't want to lose you."

"Don't." Rayna snapped as she ran a hand over her face before continuing. "You are the one thing I thought I could count on. I trusted you…all these years…you took that away from me."

"Rayna, you can still trus-"

"That's just it. I don't know that I can…and if tonight's an indicator of how you feel, I don't think you trust me either."

She nodded slowly, digesting what she was saying. Teddy stood in silence, watching her intensely.

"Maybe the tour is the best thing for us now…some space…time to think…think about what we actually want." She added, before slowly heading towards the kitchen door. Teddy nodded, acknowledging what she had said.

"I'll sleep downstairs." He stated.

"That's your choice."

"Would you rather I didn't?"

"Well, _no_ I don't think it's the best idea if the girls wake up wondering why Daddy and Mommy are sleeping in separate beds." She shook her head in disapproval, speaking as if it should have been obvious to him why she didn't agree. Teddy was relieved that she had rejected his idea and gratefully followed her up to their bedroom.

Pulling the covers over her head, Rayna lay as close to the edge of her side of the mattress as she could. With the haze of the alcohol wearing off, she was left to her own devices. She tore apart the night's events, letting them occupy her mind. Rayna thought about Teddy and pretended that she didn't see the end sneaking in behind her eyes. Then she thought of Deacon and she became restless, realising that he had taken the most important pieces of her with him tonight. He had taken her love and left her heart a mess.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Promise to call everyday!" Daphne squeaked as she buried her head in Rayna's coat.

"And video chat too." Maddie added.

"I promise." Rayna smiled as she hugged both girls.

"Let's go look at the planes!" Exclaimed Daphne, leading Maddie to the window.

Rayna and Teddy awkwardly stepped towards one another, not too sure what to say. Rayna had had a lot of time to think last night. She was conflicted, she was no longer as sure about herself and her decisions as she seemed. Nothing made sense, but then she had thought about the girls and how she loved them. Rayna wrestled with conclusions and solutions until she leant towards one that was best for the present. All the same, that didn't mean she readily liked it.

"I don't have answers. I wish I did…I know I don't trust you…but as far as us, the girls…this family is concerned, we're still married. Whether I'm here in Nashville or out on tour…if that's what you want?" She spoke, fixing his collar. "We both have to want this…and it scares me that I don't trust you when you say you do. You slept with someon-"

"-I do Rayna." He replied, pulling her into his arms, Rayna went rigid.

"Rayna! You ready?!" Yelled Liam as he waved to get her attention. He had been waiting at the doors for her while she'd been saying goodbye.

"Girls! Give me another hug!" She smiled as she stepped past Teddy, holding them one last time.

Rayna turned to back to him and he walked her to the departure door.

"I have to do something before you go." Teddy resolved, as he stepped forward and punched Liam.

"That is for kissing my _wife_!" He scoffed. Rayna laughed as Liam bent over in pain.

"About that…" Liam started.

Rayna pulled Teddy away, shooing him off to stand with the girls at the viewing window. She waved her final goodbye and walked with Liam out the doors onto the tarmac.

"Don't look at me, I'm not speaking to you at the moment." Rayna feigned anger.

"What? Seriously? I can't help what I do when alcohol is at play…drunk _you _didn't help either." Liam exclaimed, looking back at Teddy and the girls.

"You kissed me because you were drunk." She smirked. "You tormented Deacon coz you're just mean."

"Oh, so this is about Deacon?!" He said a little too enthusiastically, raising an eyebrow. Rayna shook her head, tight-lipped.

"I see. We're enforcing the silent treatment now? Nicely played." He mused. She nodded with a smile.

"What a way to start the tour." Liam muttered as he followed her up the stairs and onto the jet.

Rayna giggled, she felt like she could breathe again, doing what she loved. The thought of getting out of Nashville and away from the people that had helped her unravel into an emotional basket case was liberating. Teddy would be at home with the girls, Deacon would be on tour with the Revel Kings and she would be thousands of miles away playing sold out shows night after night. This wasn't her first rodeo; this was going to be a walk in the park.

**NASHVILLE**

Rayna hadn't taken much notice when Juliette had boarded the jet complaining about their early start. She had been too busy checking emails and discussing their itinerary with Bucky. Rayna had however, sat wide-eyed as she watched somebody else take a seat. Deacon. What's more, he had had the nerve to let her know that he wasn't here for her at all, he was here for Juliette. She wasn't sure what she hated more, the pleasure he seemed to get watching her squirm or the sugary sweet smile plastered on Juliette's face.

"Well this'll be interesting…" Liam said under his breath, putting a pair of headphones on, drowning out the sound of the jet as it took off. Deacon shot him a look.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" Rayna hissed, all her level-headedness now out the window.

"You honestly think I know?!" Bucky questioned, looking as stunned as she did.

Rayna shot him a dirty look. "Well yeah?!"

"In case you didn't hear, he himself said he was here with Juliette." Bucky reminded her.

"I know, I heard that…Bucky, there has to be a mistake…he can't be here." She panicked, her heart rate was rising.

Bucky looked at her confused "If you knew, why'd you as-"

"Shush it."

Rayna watched Deacon intensely as she tried to figure him out. Had he come on this tour to be close to her? To spite her? Maybe he'd held to his word about _forgetting _last night. He could have come to check up on her with Liam being here and all, or had he agreed to come because he knew that coming with Juliette would make her jealous? The possibilities were endless. He seemed to be drifting in and out of conversation with Juliette and her assistant, not particularly interested in what was being said. This made her giggle.

"What's so funny?" Juliette demanded, whipping her head around to glare at Rayna. Deacon stared at Rayna curiously.

"Oh nothing…sounds like a _fascinating_ conversation you've got going over there." Rayna mused, looking the other way. Bucky shook his head mentioning he was off to the toilet.

Rayna riffled through her bag in search of a notepad and pen. She began to scribble in the margin, pretending to be engrossed in what she was doing.

"That looks like fun." Deacon said, sitting next to her. Rayna nearly leapt out of the seat, hiding the notepad from him.

"You're on the wrong jet you know." She replied, irritation in her voice.

"No I'm not."

"You kind of are."

"No I'm not. I quit the other tour and jumped on this one...seemed like a good idea." He smirked. Rayna rolled her eyes.

"Go sit with your people." She scoffed, waving in Juliette's direction.

"They are not _my people_." He mimicked her, pretending to be offended.

"They are now."

"You can deny it all you want…but you're happy I'm here." Deacon smirked when she smiled at his statement. Because she smiled a smile that he knew was reserved only for him. "You need to stop this right now. I thought we agreed to forge-" She scolded him, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"-I have no idea what you're talking about Ray. I'm just saying a _friendly_ hello." Deacon naively replied.

"Let's be straight...you're idea of '_friendly_'" She made quotation marks. "Involves people getting a little handsy…" Rayna smirked as she saw his mind ticking, trying to find something witty to say.

"_You_ wanna get _handsy_ with _me_?" He teased, lightly tapping her knee as he raised an eyebrow. Rayna's cheeks flushed as she tried to deny wanting to do such a thing, pushing his hands and knees away from hers. They both continued to whisper back and forth, speaking more with their wandering hands than words.

"Hey?!" Juliette called, breaking the escalating tension between Rayna and Deacon. "You two wanna be a little less exclusive? Deacon is here as part of my team, remember?"

"Bye." Rayna mouthed, as she waved him off to his own seat. It wasn't long till he was discussing set list choices with Juliette. Rayna couldn't help but feel a little jealous as she watched them work so closely together. She hated herself for feeling this way but she couldn't help it. It was as if he had unknowingly flipped a switch on in her that had no option to shut it off. She smiled to herself only to be disturbed by Liam.

"What are you doing?" He asked, leaning over his chair so he could see her face.

Rayna covered her mouth with her hand, expressing that they were still not speaking. Liam let out an exasperated sound making her giggle.

"Come on Rayna! You can't stay mad at me forever." He pretended to whinge.

"I can try." She blurted out, forgetting that she wasn't supposed to be talking. Liam threw his fist up in the air, claiming victory. Rayna swore as she smacked his arm down.

"You didn't even last a whole plane trip, let alone forever." He teased.

"That's coz you tricked me." She screeched.

"Hey! Can you guys be quiet! We're kind of working!" Juliette demanded. "You're acting like a bunch of 2 year olds."

Rayna didn't really notice the insults that continued to fly from her mouth; she was too focused on what she saw out of the corner of her eye. Deacon was fixated on her. His eyes dark and wild with envy, he was jealous of Liam. Her cheeks went crimson red, prompting her to jump up and walk to the small kitchenette in the back of the jet to make a coffee. She was so intent on getting there that she left Juliette mid sentence, making her even angrier. This invited Liam to poke some fun at Juliette and before anyone knew it they were yelling at one another.

**-NASHVILLE-**

Tapping her fingers on the counter, Rayna willed the kettle to boil faster. Juliette and Liam's argument had become some sort of comic relief for all the passengers on board. Rayna had to turn around to avoid being caught in fits of giggles at the stupidity of some of their insults.

"What's so funny?" A low and husky voice asked from behind her.

Rayna inhaled sharply, recognising Deacon's voice immediately. He had easily left the others company unrecognised because they were all too focused on Juliette and Liam. Deacon was standing close to her because she could feel his breath on her neck, causing her to shudder.

"Nothing." She squeaked, swiftly turning around to face him in an attempt to shake the mood. It didn't work because when she spun she misjudged how far he'd been behind her. They now stood chest-to-chest, looking into one another's eyes.

"It was getting a little loud in there. Thought I'd take a timeout and get a coffee too."

"Coffee...right." She said weakly, not taking her eyes off of his.

"How are we gonna do this?" He asked, his voice low as he subtly set his hand on top of hers on the counter. Rayna willed herself not to react.

"Nothing. Because there is nothing going on _here_." She spoke unconvincingly.

"Really?" He whispered.

"If you're referring to us…then yes." She lied, her heart beating faster.

"Actually, I was referring to the coffee. Do you get the first cup or do I?"

He smirked, watching her reel as she hung off his every word. He kept her guessing as he watched her come undone. Deacon had hated seeing Rayna enjoy herself with Liam earlier. He had sat discussing set lists with Juliette but every time Liam had made Rayna laugh he had gripped the seat beneath himself a little tighter. When the opportunity to be alone with Rayna had come along he'd jumped at it.

"We both know you're not referring to _coffee_." She said uneasily, brushing hair out of her eyes. The kettle chimed as it came to the boil. Deacon swiftly took her cup, poured the water and took a sip.

"No I wasn't." Deacon admitted as he handed her back her cup before leaving her standing alone in the kitchenette.

She stood open-mouthed at what had just happened. She herself had become a babbling idiot and he had knowingly seen through her every word and stare. What's more, she was barely coping with how he was trying not to let her see he was still in love with her too.

Rayna swore. Only a few hours ago she had been eager to get back on the road again, soaking up the ease and freedom that came with it. But it only took one look at Deacon to make her realise that this tour was going to be a lot harder than she thought. She wasn't worried about him overstepping the mark; it was the thought of what she would do when he did.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

**Two weeks later…**

Rayna, Liam, Juliette and Deacon waved as they filed off the stage leaving the lights, applause and the screaming sea of people behind. They had finished with an encore of "Wrong Song" as per usual and they had brought the arena down, leaving everyone wanting more. Immediately swarmed by stagehands, crew, managers, assistants and special guests, they barely had anytime to regain their breath. All huddled in their personal circles, they began to engage in small talk and thankyous.

"That was one hell of a show!" Bucky greeted, kissing Rayna on the cheek. Rayna thanked him and smiled as he began to introduce her to person after person, shaking each of their hands. Rayna grinned and appeared to be listening to what Bucky was reminiscing about but her mind was firmly stuck on Deacon. She knew that she didn't have to look around to see where he was because she felt his eyes on her, watching and waiting for her to acknowledge him. Rayna didn't give him the satisfaction.

This past two weeks had been a whirlwind of rehearsals, radio interviews, meet and greets, TV appearances, travelling and concerts all rolled into one. Rayna had spent nearly every spare moment with Deacon, often making excuses not to attend more events than what was required just so they could have those few extra hours together. They had talked and taken long purposeless walks late at night, sat in tour buses and mocked their old songs, made fun of one another and reacquainted themselves with the concept of the chase and the run around. Rayna recalled Bucky confronting her about her relationship with Deacon last week and how she had remained tight-lipped, assuring him nothing was happening between them. That was the truth, _nothing_ was happening. Rayna was beginning to think that she had misread the whole coffee incident on the Jet, settling with the idea that she had probably imagined the feelings, gestures and looks. However, when she saw the jealousy and unspoken possessiveness that overcame Deacon when she worked with Liam, she knew that her judgement had never been incorrect.

Rayna was torn from her thoughts when she heard Juliette let out an unnecessarily loud squeal, praising Deacon and the energy he brought to her band. Rayna's eyes darted in their direction, loathing and rage engulfing her. Bucky noticed Rayna's sudden change in demeanour and quickly said goodbye to the group surrounding them on her behalf, ushering Rayna out the exit door as she struggled to look back at Deacon and Juliette who were sharing quiet jests.

"What are you doing?" Rayna exclaimed.

"What are _you_ doing?" Bucky questioned her, clearly expecting an answer to why her mood had changed so suddenly.

As Bucky led her out to a waiting car Rayna quickly caught on to where this conversation was headed so she became silent, recomposing herself.

"You'll see _them_ when we get to LA you know. Besides, I thought you'd want to be spreading out the time you all spend together…after all, this tour is gonna be a good 5 months." Bucky said, opening the car door.

Rayna pretended to be confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about Buck."

Bucky shook his head as he watched her hop in the car, dialling her home number.

"Hi girls!" She shrieked, looking out the window as the car pulled away.

**- NASHVILLE -**

Rayna woke suddenly to the buzzing of her cell phone. Tangled in her sheets, she struggled to loosen their hold as she reached for it, throwing it off the bed as she buried her head under her pillow trying to recall last nights events. Everyone had gotten to the hotel in the early hours of the morning, all set on going out to celebrate the tour's opening weeks success. Tomorrow was their day off which meant that they could do whatever they pleased tonight and sleep it off through the day while their crew assembled the set for the show on Monday. Rayna had politely declined invites to share drinks and retreated to her suite. Initially she had welcomed the idea of solitude but it wasn't long till she found herself pacing the lounge room floor, thinking about the past two weeks. Rayna began to will Deacon to knock on her door, but no amount of soundless pleas and nail biting saw him walk in like she'd hoped. Eventually, she had fallen into bed, residing to meet him in the one place she always knew he'd be. Her dreams.

When her cell phone continued to buzz Rayna crawled out of bed and picked it up off the floor, squinting at the screen. There were a number of messages from Teddy, which she ignored, and one from Bucky. He wanted to meet for coffee. She really wasn't in the mood to be grilled so she set the cell phone down and opened her curtains, letting the sunlight pour in. Rayna swore as the brightness filled the room and the light hurt her eyes as she stumbled in the direction of the bathroom. She felt horrible; looking in the mirror only confirmed how she felt as she scrunched her nose at the chaotic disaster her hair and make up had become. Quickly stripping off she jumped in the shower, desperate to wash away any traces of yesterday. Rayna had just finished rinsing out her hair when she heard a loud and insistent knock at the front door. Her stomach fell through the floor as she struggled to turn off the taps and reach for a towel. She knew Bucky wanted to see her but she didn't think he'd resort to showing up unannounced.

"Hang on! Stop your knocking I get it!" She yelled impatiently as she wrapped the towel around herself and ran to the door, flinging it wide open.

"Deacon?!" She squeaked, her cheeks turning three shades of red.

"Hi." He said levelly, trying to hide his smile at how she had greeted him.

"I thought you were b.." She started before stopping mid sentence. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd see what you were doing today. Got any plans?" He asked as he walked past her into inside.

"Well I..I.." She stammered self-consciously, looking down at the very little she was wearing. "I wasn't planning on doing anything."

"Good."

"Good?"

Deacon nodded stepping towards her. Rayna instinctively wrapped her arms across her chest, holding the towel closer to her body in an attempt to cover herself from him. It didn't seem to matter anyway, his eyes told her he had an imagination of his own as he took her in, causing her to blush. Her hair stuck to her face, dripping and disorderly. Deacon reached out and gently pushed the loose strands out of her eyes. She didn't move while his fingers lingered at her cheek. He averted his eyes; clearing his throat he broke the mood.

"Get dressed…unless you want to wear the towel. We've got something to do…" He grinned, as she stood confused. "I'll wait outside." Deacon excused himself and walked out.

Rayna let out an exasperated sigh. Frustrated, she threw on a pair of jeans and a white sweater. She was losing it; Deacon was either hot as fire or cold as ice when it came to whatever this was. She was too proud to verbalise what she sensed was going on and he was unkind to let this brew. Rayna grabbed her phone and key, storming out the door after him.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"This is certainly an improvement!" Rayna teased, eating a fry out of the paper bag between them. "Not once did we ever think to bring food up to the nosebleeds...not once!...It's a genius idea."

"Well if I recall correctly, we usually had something else on our minds and there was never a lot of time for _food._..if you know what I mean." He mused, taking a sip of his coke. Rayna choked on her mouthful of food as she looked down at the empty arena, people running back and forth in an attempt to assemble the epic structures that needed to be ready before tomorrow night's show.

"This was one of our good rituals." She smiled at him, taking a sip of her drink.

"This _is _one of our good rituals." He corrected her. Rayna giggled as she broke eye contact.

"What do you see in _her_?" she asked without thinking.

"Who?"

"Juliette."

"What do you see in _him_?" Deacon replied, his voice steady.

"Who?"

"Liam." He looked at her as she shifted uneasily in her chair.

"Touché." She giggled, taking another fry.

"Juliette's just a friend Rayna. I wanted on this tour because it's a good opportunity…. the Revel Kings gig was never gonna stick." He spoke softly.

"You came just for the _opportunity_?" She asked, disbelief in her voice.

"What about Liam?" He deflected.

"Liam's just a friend Deacon. He's come to record in between shows. I told you that the day before we left, remember?" She replied, a little irritated he hadn't answered her previous question.

"I don't remember. I'm sorry but the only thing I seem to recall from that car ride is the thing that you so willing want to _forget_." He answered brashly, not intended to come across as harsh as he had sounded.

Rayna froze, too nervous to look at his face. His words had stung. It dawned on her that he wasn't being unfair in letting this brew; she hadn't exactly given him anything to work with after slamming his fingers in the door time and again. In this moment, she felt weak and her heart was tired of fighting. All she wanted to do was willingly hand it over from the inside out, giving him every last piece. Rayna looked at him, her vision now hazy.

"I recall that _you_ were _also_ willing to _forget_."

"I thought that's what you wanted." He spoke, hurt in his voice.

"That's not fair Deacon. You can't base what you feel off of me!" She cried.

"So you do or you don't wanna forget it? Because you're making this pretty damn hard Ray." He shot, just as fired up as she was.

"I'm making it hard? How about you Deacon? Do you or do you not want to forget this?!" She questioned, stuffing empty papers and cups into the paper bag. When he didn't answer she thanked him for lunch and headed out the doors behind them towards the elevator. Slamming the button, she pulled at her sleeves willing herself not to cry. She was more than relieved when the doors creaked open. Rayna stepped in anticipating that she would be alone but a hand caught the doors before they closed. She shrunk when she realised it was Deacon. He stood quietly next to her, making the air tense. Rayna stole a look out of the corner of her eye and saw him internalising something she couldn't quite figure out.

Deacon turned to face Rayna causing her to instinctively return him the favour.

"I don't want to forget it." He said surely, moving towards her pulling her into a passionate kiss. Stunned, she let out an uncontrollable sigh when his lips touched hers before giving in to him completely. The intensity and certainty in his kiss reawakened things in her she thought had been long forgotten. Rayna pulled him closer, remembering what it was like to be touched by him. She was grateful that he drove her backwards against the elevator wall because her knees were giving way. They were caught in a sea of frenzied kisses, hands and attempts to take the worth of these few moments. When Rayna had reached for him in a desperate sense of need he had pulled away to breathe, causing her to look at him frantically. Before they could speak the elevator doors opened.

Both breathless, realisation dawned on them as they struggled to recompose themselves. Rayna's eyes threw him her questions, reawakened fire burning inside her and Deacon stood motionless longing to hold her again. He killed the mood, looking away. They tentatively stepped out into the foyer, making sure they stood well apart. Rayna wiped her mouth, trying to preserve every piece of what had happened, storing it in the most inner part of her being. She was so deep in thought as she and Deacon walked awkwardly towards the entrance that she nearly tripped when she looked up.

"Teddy?!" Rayna shrieked.


	10. Chapter 10

**TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS TAKEN TIME TO READ LITTLE VOICE...all I can say is thank you a hundred times over. I am so grateful for your comments and reviews...I am still in shock that people actually want to read things I have written. We are about 2/3's of the way through this story so there are still a number of chapters to go...keep on reading and reviewing if you find it in yourselves to do so. ****-Thank you again and enjoy.**

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

"There you are!" Teddy called, jogging up to them kissing Rayna on the cheek as he pulled her into his arms. Rayna still in shock went rigid at his touch. Memories came flooding back and she cursed herself. Teddy hadn't been fishing for a fight this morning when he'd messaged her; he had been confirming flight arrival times. They had agreed before she left that he would bring the girls out for the LA show so they could all fly home together to Nashville for Election Night. Initially Rayna hadn't agreed with him, arguing that he hated taking the girls out of school anyway. Teddy's PR team had advised that it would bring good publicity for his campaign if Nashville saw him as the dedicated husband and family man they wanted to see. Rayna saw it as another scheme orchestrated by her Father to point out that she never met his standards as a Mother and wife. With things as strained as they were, Rayna gave in and finally agreed against her better judgement. How could she have forgotten it was today? She stood uncomfortably, scrambling for words and clarity of mind.

"Here I am!" She mimicked his merriment, cautiously looking out of the corner of her eye at a perplexed Deacon.

"I left you messages. You forgot we were coming didn't you?" Teddy questioned, searching her eyes as he smiled. Rayna ran a hand through her hair.

"No, of course I didn't!" She lied, shoving her hands in her pockets as she stole another look at Deacon who was trying very hard to make himself invisible. He slowly starts to walk away but Teddy stops him in his tracks.

"Deacon." Teddy states more than greets.

"Teddy." Deacon spins and nods in his direction, frustration clearly written all over his face.

"How's working with Juliette?" Teddy digs, intending to place emphasis on the point that he had no place spending time with Rayna when he wasn't in her band.

Deacon shrugged "It's alright. She's a lot better to work for then a lot of people think."

Rayna shot him a bitter look, which he ignored. Teddy nodded.

"Well we've gotta go. Bucky's got the girls. Who knows what trouble they've gotten into." Teddy broke the silence, motioning in the direction of a waiting car.

"Buck's got the girls?!" Rayna replied.

"Mmhmm."

"Kill me now." Rayna shook her head before looking at Deacon trying to get him to look at her. He clenched his jaw, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You best be off then. Nice to see you Teddy." Deacon said grimly, saying the last word resentfully as he curtly nodded in Rayna's direction. They all silently said their goodbyes. Teddy put his arm around Rayna and steered her towards the car.

Walking away she turned back to look at Deacon. Ideally, she should be excited to have Teddy here, but everything about it felt wrong. Deacon had stolen her most important part today; he had pulled at her seams and run away with her heart. She shivered as his eyes caught hers. From the way Deacon looked at her, he had no intention of giving it back.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Chocolate! I want chocolate." Daphne decided on an ice-cream flavour, sitting at the bench in Rayna's suite.

"You hate chocolate." Maddie shook her head.

"I do not."

"Yes you do. You told Dad so the other day."

"Momma, I didn't say that!" Daphne whinged as she looked at Rayna, trying to get her attention. Maddie laughed at how easily she had provoked her little sister.

"Well it's all you're getting because it's all we brought." Rayna replied, giving Maddie a look that told her to stop teasing her sister. Maddie ignored her Mother's appeal.

"Yeah, that's all you're getting." Maddie mimicked her Mother's voice as she got a coke out of the fridge.

"Shut u-!" Daphne started.

"Hey!" Rayna snapped, pointing a spoon at her. "You know the rules, no words like that."

Daphne smiled cheekily, eating her ice cream. They all laughed, catching up on what had happened over the last two weeks, each telling story after story that for the most part had them all in stitches.

"Ok bed time." Teddy walked in, kissing Maddie on the head.

"5 more minutes…please…" Daphne tried. Rayna hid her smile, burying her mouth in her hands.

"Not a chance. You tried that one 30 minutes ago." Teddy answered, telling them to say goodnight to their mother before taking them off to their bedroom. Rayna put the kettle on and made a coffee; letting her thoughts drift to what had happened before Teddy had arrived at the arena.

"I thought you said that you hardly saw Deacon." Teddy said flatly leaning his back against the bench as he crossed his arms. Rayna tensed at his statement.

"Well we are on the same tour Teddy, we work together. So we're gonna see each other sometimes." She replied, lifting the cup to her mouth.

"What were you doing with him today?" He continued.

Rayna gulped, fixed her thoughts on the sizzling in her throat as the coffee plunged downward. It took everything within her not to give away her thoughts outwardly. She immediately resolved not to speak about Deacon because she herself wasn't even sure what it was. He wasn't here but her memory remembered him well. How she felt his lips on hers, his touch and the fire that had burned within when he had held her against himself. Rayna shook her head, realising that Teddy was staring at her strangely.

"Nothing much, just checked out the arena. He owed me lunch so we ate and walked around, that's all." She lied, walking her cup over to the sink.

Teddy decided to drop it because she had given him nothing to believe otherwise.

"Ok, well I'm gonna go to bed…watch some TV. You coming?" He asked, hoping she'd agree.

"Not just yet. I've got some stuff to go over for Liam before tomorrow morning. Lyric changes and stuff…" She smiled kissing him on the cheek as he scrunched up his nose.

"…_Liam_." Teddy dramatically shuddered making Rayna laugh as she headed over to a sofa chair with a bundle of papers. "Night." She called as he walked towards the bedroom.

It was 12:00am when Rayna crawled into bed. Teddy was fast asleep but she lay wide-awake, her mind occupied with reminding herself of each of Deacon's features. She nearly fell out of the bed when her cell phone vibrated. Scrabbling to make sure it didn't wake Teddy up, she swore when he began to stir.

"Go back to sleep." She whispered as he grunted and turned over. Hesitantly she clicked the phone back on and opened the waiting message.

_Meet you on the roof in 5. -D_

Before Rayna had any time to ask her body what it was doing she had snuck out of the bedroom, throwing on track pants and a t-shirt. Closing the front door, she struggled not to break out into a run as she headed for a side door that led her to where she knew he'd be waiting.

**- NASHVILLE -**

The air was cold on her face when she pushed the door open. Under the moonlight she saw Deacon's silhouette looking out at the city lights. She smiled, walking nervously towards him.

"I never cared for bright lights…except those that burn in the sky..." He offered, sensing her presence.

"Me either." She breathed, trying to sense where he was going with this.

"I didn't think you'd come."

"Well I did."

Rayna moved closer, standing next to him as they took in their surroundings. Deacon gently intertwined his arm with hers, offering her the little warmth he had. She smiled at his gesture.

"Ray-" He began.

"No." She whispered, turning to put a finger to his lips. "Can we just pretend for a moment…that we don't have anything to say?"

He nodded as they stood comfortably in a state of compromise. Deacon caught her shiver and instinctively pulled her in front of himself, surrounding her with his arms. She leant into him, welcoming the blend of warmth and his steady beating heart.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened with us?" He asked.

"Always."

"I wasn't lying today. I don't want to forget this." He whispered. She rested her head under his chin, responding soundlessly.

This was a very fine wire they were walking. One slight movement could send her tumbling, ruining her completely. But wasn't she already ruined? She had broken him, but he had broken her too. She had had the mind to walk away twelve years ago and both she and Deacon had always acted liked they were healed and moved on, letting their secrets, gestures and looks speak the words they would not say. It was a custom that they had become well used to, till something changed, till they realised they wanted something more.

Deacon let go of her, spinning her around so he could look at her face, Rayna blushed. The fire in his eyes both excited and terrified her. He saw right through her every stare, word and move, tearing down her walls to let himself in.

"What do you want?" He murmured.

Rayna stood silent. Out of all the things he could ask, he asked that. She wasn't prepared. All logic and reason slowly crept back in as reality brought her crashing down. Her children, her husband, her family all lay asleep just one floor below them. They had flown out to support her and she now had unintentionally thrown that in their faces by running at Deacon's call. Rayna cursed herself, because despite all common sense, she wanting nothing more than to hold Deacon close and be held by him in return. Conflicting emotions ran riot within her as she grasped for something, anything to say. Deacon looked at her waiting for an answer. When she didn't speak, that was all he needed to take two steps backward.

"Deacon, no." She whispered, stretching her hand out in the air now standing before her.

"Don't you want this too? I thought..I thought toda-."

"I don't know what I want." She lied, angry that she'd even let those words come out of her mouth. Deacon ran a hand over his face.

"You're _actually_ lying…right now… you're lying Ray." He answered. "You're just to stubborn to admit it."

"I'm not ly-"

"-If you weren't lying you wouldn't have let me kiss you like that." He pointed out, not breaking eye contact. "Hell you wouldn't have kissed me like you did if you didn't want it either."

Rayna blushed, wrapping her arms around herself as she recalled what he spoke of.

"We can'-…" she barely breathed, shaking her head.

"Tell me I'm wrong and I'll back off." He pressed.

"No." She said weakly.

"No?"

"I can't…I can't tell you you're wrong." She whispered walking away, opening the door to excuse herself, leaving Deacon confused and alone on the roof.

**- NASHVILLE -**

The LA show had been one of the best to date. They had had the whole arena screaming for more after a second encore. Bucky, Teddy and the girls had met Rayna when she walked off the stage. She kissed them, thanking them for their compliments. Rayna had been on edge all day, wondering when Deacon would pop up and ask her what she had meant before she had left him stranded on the rooftop. To her surprise, he had only made appearances where expected, not bothering to speak to her at all.

"We're headed to the car. We'll meet you there ok." Teddy smiled, walking away with the girls as she waved at them.

"See you in Nashville!" Liam yelled as he walked backwards past her.

"What? Why?" Rayna asked confused, letting her gaze follow him.

"If I don't come, whose gonna vote for you're husband?…After all, I am his greatest fan!" He replied mockingly, looking at her like she was stupid.

"Yeah yeah yeah." She shooed him off.

"Vote for Teddy Conrad people!" Liam shouted to those rushing back and forth, throwing his arms in the air. She shook her head.

Rayna had been so focused on her personal life that she had forgotten the tiny stop in their itinerary that had the whole tour team booked to return to Nashville for Election Night. Their label had thought it would be good for them to show support at such an important event, much to their dismay; both Rayna and Juliette were forced to agree. Everybody seemed to be taking it differently. Rayna looked up to see Juliette mouthing off about having to fly back to Nashville and Liam was still telling everyone to vote for Teddy as he stood at the exit door, taunting Juliette. Then there was Deacon; she didn't want to know what he thought about this whole arrangement. Where was he anyway?

She looked down at her phone to check the time. Suddenly a hand gripped her wrist, causing her alarm as she got dragged away. Before she had time to figure out what was happening, Deacon had led her to a dark hideaway behind the stage. Without thinking, he pressed himself against her, kissing her single-mindedly. Rayna hastily leant into him, sighing at his touch as she kissed him back. Hungrily, he kissed her again, only this time she pulled away resting her forehead on his, squeezing her eyes tightly.

"I'm not going to ask you anything…I already know what you're going to say." He breathed heavily, unwrapping himself from her. "I just needed you to know that I think you're making the wrong decision, choosing him _again_."

Deacon searched Rayna's eyes. Doing this drove his heart harder into the ground, harder then the day he had found out she was marrying Teddy. But he couldn't live like this, pretending not to love her had wrapped him up in ribbons, holding him captive to loving her in the shadow of their secrets, gestures and looks. His heart was scared to chase her when he wasn't entirely sure she'd choose him back, so in the moment he had said the only thing that he thought would ease the heavy burdens their hearts had long carried. The air changed and she began to shake inwardly. Rayna didn't get a chance to speak because Deacon's phone started buzzing.

"Yeah." He answered, agitated. "Thanks, I'll be there in 5. Ok. Bye." He stepped backwards, creating distance between them.

"_You're_ choosing this for me." She said weakly, her head spinning as she fought the urge not to fall to her knees.

"I'm choosing it for you because you won't choose it for yourself." He flatly replied.

"You can't jus-" Rayna shook her head, her voice wavering.

"-I remember that you chose for me twelve yea-" He whispered.

"-Deacon! Hurry up!" Juliette yelled from a far off distance, causing Deacon and Rayna to jump.

They both stole one last glance before he turned around, returning into the sea of the busy back and forth traffic of crew and stagehands dismantling equipment. Rayna braced herself, wrapping her arms around her body as she charged through the crowd and out the exit door. Daphne and Maddie waved wildly when they made out who she was and it took everything within her not to fall into a mess of tears right there and then.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Cheering and applause rang through the room as Teddy and Rayna stood side by side in a sea of people. The election was finally over and he had done it, he had won.

"You did it, you won, you won, you won!" Maddie and Daphne squealed, jumping up to hug their Father.

"Congratulations Mr Mayor." Rayna said, smiling tiredly as she leant over the girls to kiss him. Teddy thanked her and took her hand.

"Hey! We did it!" he yelled to his campaign team. Rayna didn't hear much else because everything was drowned out by the festivities. She simply nodded to acknowledge peoples congratulations, focusing on keeping her self in check.

Outwardly, she appeared to be everything you would expect the newfound Mayor's wife to be. Respectable, loving, supportive and happy. But the more she tried to focus on being that, the harder she found it to breathe. When Deacon walked away yesterday he had taken her sanity, leaving her to bleed as she struggled to pick up her pieces. Rayna hated herself for not speaking the words they both needed to hear, but her mouth had betrayed her, leaving her to fend for herself. Not that that was an excuse. She couldn't claim innocence in this; Deacon had pushed her away before she pushed him first. The more she thought about it she confused her heart's voice with the one of reason and logic. She couldn't think straight, her body was weak and her heart was numb.

Rayna didn't remember taking the journey between the hotel room and the conference hall. She had been torn from her recollections when she noticed Teddy trying to get her attention. They had stopped backstage, waiting for Teddy to be invited onto the stage to address Nashville as the new mayor.

"Hey! Rayna!?" Teddy clicked in her face, agitated at her unresponsiveness. "Rayn-!"

"I hear you." She snapped, angrily brushing hair out of her face.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked.

"Nothing is wrong with me!" Rayna said through her teeth, smiling at people who were hurrying past.

"You're a terrible liar."

"Yeah well, I leave that to you…you're the politician and all." She spat, crossing her arms.

"You're gonna bring this up now?" Teddy spluttered, stepping closer to her so that they would remain unheard by those standing around them.

"You're the one calling _me_ a liar." Rayna shrugged, adopting a cold, hard stare.

"You know what I think…I think you're lying when you say we're ok…and I'd bet a hell of a lot on the fact that the reason we're not ok is because…it has to do with Deacon."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You're always bringing Deacon into this. Why not talk about Peggy for a chang-?"

"-Spare me Rayna."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She crossed her arms tighter, unintentionally letting her volume rise. This attracted a number of looks from onlookers who had been trying to remain detached from the conversation in an attempt to give them privacy. Rayna caught Tandy out of the corner of her eye leading Maddie and Daphne out of earshot.

"Are we over?" He asked, hands on hips as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Why would you ask me that?" She answered, a little thrown by his question.

"I'm asking because of Deacon! I see the way you look at him. I saw the way he looked at you last night, on and off stage. He was undressing you with his eyes…. Rayna, are you sleeping with him?" He asked, not breaking eye contact. Rayna fought to stop herself from blushing.

"I..I'm no-"

"-When you said you wanted space, I didn't think space meant we were seeing other people." He pointed at her.

"You don't believe me?" She answered, throwing her hands up in the air.

"No I don't."

"That's just perfect."

"Yeah well."

"What about Peggy?" Rayna spat, glaring at him.

"We're not doing this. Not now." Teddy replied, fixing his collar.

"Have you slept with her since I've been gone?" Rayna pushed, angry that he made no attempts to deny it.

"We're not doing this...someone is going to hear you." He retreated.

"Then quit blasting me about Deacon." She shushed, stomping her foot in frustration.

"You know what…you don't care anymore…and I don't care…I don't care anymore either...what difference does it make?" Teddy breathed, waving at someone walking past.

Before Rayna could speak they were both being ushered up a set of stairs with their daughters. The flashes of cameras and the flooding light that filled the stage attacked their eyes. Immediately they embraced the happy family façade, becoming shiny veneers of confidence in the public eye as they held onto one another, smiling joyfully. Teddy stepped forward and began his address. Rayna would have paid more attention, but if she had, cameras would have caught the distain on her face at the words that fell from her husband's mouth. Instead, she focused on holding her daughters close and smiling at the ground.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Whoa…steady." Liam teased, watching Rayna gulp down another shot glass of whiskey.

Rayna couldn't hear him over the music so she pretended to ignore him. After Teddy had made his speech they had all convoyed over to a celebratory party in his honour. Since their argument backstage she had avoided speaking to Teddy, instead heading straight for the bar where she intended to drown every one of her burdens.

"People only seem to drink that much when they drink to get drunk." Liam continued, taking a seat next to her.

"I'm fine. Really." She said unconvincingly as she asked for another round. Liam let out a low whistle, motioning to the bartender for a glass of what she was having.

"You're a terrible li-" He started.

"-Liar. Yeah that's me…just ask my husband, hell ask Deacon." She interrupted, shaking her head as she downed the whole glass that had just been put in front of her. Liam took in the sight, wiping his hands on his jeans as he decided on what to say next.

"Rayna…you should probably slow down…"

"Why? I'm not your responsibility. I'm all alone anyway…there's no use in you caring…Teddy hates me…and then there's Deacon…he hates me more." She wallowed, resting her head on her glass to shake the dizziness she was slowly starting to feel.

"So this is about Dea-"

"-Why is everyone saying it's about Deacon?!"

"Maybe because you've mentioned him just now? Where is he anyway?" Liam asked, looking around the room for him.

"How should I know?!" She exclaimed.

"Because you _always_ seem to know…I'm gonna kill him…I'll kill you for making me come if he get's the night off. That's part of the gig, turning up to this thing, right?" He asked, acknowledging Rayna as she nodded.

"I thought you were here for Teddy, to show your support as his greatest fan and all?" Rayna giggled, resting her head on her arms as she laid her head on the bar..

"That's you're job." Liam teased, gently pushed her on the shoulder

"He kissed me…twice…and I kissed him back." She said unthinkingly.

"Teddy?" He asked. Rayna remained still. "Not Teddy?" He tried again as she nodded. Liam's eyes widened.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Juliette derided, appearing behind Liam and Rayna. Neither of them acknowledged her presence, both aware that she could have heard what Rayna has just confessed.

"Rayna? Are you drunk?" Juliette pushed, crossing her arms as she smelt the alcohol.

"Seriously, go home. The adults are talking. Isn't it past your bedtime anyway?" Liam baited Juliette, hoping she'd get angry and leave.

"You're an ass."

"You like my ass? I _always _knew it."

Juliette ignored him. "As much as I want to see her publically humiliated." Juliette waved to Rayna. "And believe me I would love that…I don't want her messing up my tour either by doing something stupid tonight. We need to get her out of here."

"How do you suggest _we_ do that?" Liam questioned, confused at Juliette's sudden concern for Rayna.

"I dunno. First…we're taking her drink." Juliette answered, taking Rayna's glass out of her hand. "My cars out back, can you help me?"

Suddenly aware of what was happening, Rayna's stubbornness kicked into gear.

"I'm not going anywhere with y'all!" She insisted, standing up unsteadily. "I'm fine. Stop worrying about me. Especially you.." She pointed at Juliette. "Miss sparkly pants…I do not need _your_ help." Rayna giggled, reaching for the bar to steady herself.

"Don't listen to her, she's drunk." Liam shook his head as he looked at Juliette.

"You won't be saying that when you're stranded somewhere, vomiting in a strangers toilet bowl wondering how the hell you got there." Juliette breathed, smiling at Rayna. Liam interrupted, holding his hands up between them to call a time out. He knew that if he didn't stop them now, Rayna and Juliette would get into a full-fledged argument.

"Fine Rayna, if you've got it all together…do whatever you want." He pointed out calmly.

"Maybe I will!" She replied bitterly as she turned around and headed through the room of dancing strangers.

"Where is she going? She's worse than my Momma I swear." Juliette exclaimed, glaring at Liam for encouraging her to walk away.

"Rayna's a big girl. She can do what she wants. She'll do what she wants. Besides I have a feeling she's in no mood to take advice from anyone." He shrugged, letting a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Especially you...Miss sparkly pants."

Liam waved his hand at the bartender. "I'll have another. She'll have water...too young for the real stuff." Liam asked, patting the seat next to him as he looked back at her. Juliette swore at him and turned around, slipping into conversation with someone else. Liam let out a long laugh as he took a drink and hoped that Rayna wouldn't do anything stupid.

**- NASHVILLE -**

Rayna stood arms crossed in the cold on Deacon's front porch as she kicked at the splintering wood beneath her feet. She had knocked a good number of times and he hadn't answered. Whether her lack of clarity or her heart was to blame in leading her to his doorstep, she didn't know. After storming out of the party she wanted to shut tonight and all it had held. She needed familiar, she needed Deacon. Giving up, she slowly started to make her way down the stairs when she heard the creaking of the front door. Her heart skipped a beat as she spun around, running back to where she had stood before. Deacon looked like he had just woken up, his hair showing all kinds of disorder. She shuddered, taking him in.

"What are you doing here?" Deacon whispered hoarsely, the last word catching in his throat as he leant against the doorframe.

Sure that her words would betray her again Rayna boldly moved, wrapping her arms around him as she put her lips to his. Initially startled, Deacon sidestepped before pulling her closer to himself as he kissed her deeply. Rayna returned the kiss with a passion that she didn't realise she was capable of. By the slight sway in his hold, she guessed he had been surprised too. It was as if she had been saving all her love for this very moment, hunger and desire let loose to run free.

"Why are you here Ray?" He breathed, pulling away from her. Rayna moved to kiss him again but he only shifted further backwards.

"Can't we just?" She answered, before pulling him back towards her in the hope that he would kiss her again.

Deacon stood still, determined to stand his ground. He noticed her drunkenness from the moment her lips had met his. Yesterday he had painfully walked away from her, hoping she'd leave this to be, returning to Teddy and the stability she thought he offered her. But when he had seen her standing here he couldn't help thinking maybe she'd come to say he'd been wrong to walk away. Deacon forced himself not to let hope get the better of him. He was done with this game of pretend and white lies that left them both hollow, especially when she knew he wanted more than this.

"Why are you here?"

"I thought I made it obvious?" Rayna gestured between them indicating that she was talking about the kiss. Deacon shook his head.

"Did you come here to tell me I was wrong for walking away yesterday? Or did you come here to spite Teddy?" He whispered. Rayna stood still. "Because using me to get at him is wrong. Using this..." He gestured between them, referencing the kiss like she had. "...instead of telling me what you really want isn't fair either."

He shifted uneasily before continuing, holding her gaze.

"Do you even know what you want Ray? Because I do. I want more than waiting and hoping that maybe you'll choose me. I want more than pretend, more than elevators and back stages. I want more than this. I want _you_."

Rayna's eyes widened as his last words fell into silence. She began to shake her head, but Deacon spoke.

"No don't do that, acting like this is the first time you're hearing this. _You know_…You know that I've _always_ wanted you."

She bit her lip, trying not to cry as she let his words sink their teeth into her heart. Why had she come? She wished she didn't have the answer, but it hung silently waiting to be heard. Her heart told her that she had come here to let her feeling show, but her mind refused to let her believe that, rationalising away the passion play that was running circles around her with the notion that she had had too much to drink. Rayna swore at the mess they'd gotten themselves into. Deacon was the part of her she wished she didn't need and the thought that he could walk away without another word was unbearable. Shaking inwardly, Rayna knew what she had to say. Sober or not, she was tired of reading between the lines, she realised that if she was really honest she wanted something more too. Rayna bit her nails when her words didn't make a sound.

"It's not so easy…" She choked, regretting how she had chosen to start.

Deacon flinched as he looked away, slowly shaking his head in hopelessness. If she couldn't acknowledge what he'd said or what he knew she felt, they'd continue this chase and run around till time ceased to exist. He bit his tongue. Truth be told, until she spoke what they both needed to hear, he was couldn't do this. He wasn't going to continue to speak her mind for her.

"You should go. We can't do this anymore. It isn't fair on _either_ of us." He whispered, hands on hips as he turned away.

Trembling, Rayna ran for the door, slamming it as she went. She hadn't even reached the footpath when she began to cry. Her heart had walked into a fire when she had stormed out and now she just wanted to be left to burn. In an instant, the walls they had dutifully crafted to keep their hearts hidden had come crashing down. He was cut the ribbons that bound them together, leaving her in disrepair. If this was what it was like to say goodbye to him, she didn't want any part of it. Rayna needed to do what she hadn't done a long time ago; she needed be honest. Breathlessly she choked on tears as she fumbled for her phone. She scrolled till she found the number she was looking for. Unsteadily, she hit the send button, checking the message as it beeped to say it had been sent. Reading it again, she said it out loud.

"_Teddy, we need to talk." _


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE **

Rayna now stood silently in the elevator on her way up to the Mayor's office. Her tears had stopped, replacing themselves with an overwhelming sense of fatigue. Rayna thought back on the last hour as the elevator made the slow climb upward. She had returned to the party in search of Teddy but he was nowhere to be found. He hadn't replied to her messages and she assumed he was still angry with her. Tired of waiting for him to reply she called Tandy hoping she would know where he'd be.

"Have you tried his new office? He could be checking it out?" Tandy offered. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the party. I can't find him anywhere…don't you think it's a little strange that I can't find him at his own congratulatory party?" Rayna replied, spinning in circles.

"Yeah a little…Look, you know you can talk to me about whatever…music, touring, dieting, _Teddy_…you know that right?"

"I'm afraid you wouldn't want to hear what I have to say right now…but thanks, really…" She replied, avoiding Tandy's attempts to get her to talk about the argument she and Teddy had had earlier.

"If you and Teddy are having prob-" Tandy continued.

"-I really can't talk to you about this…" Rayna interrupted, pressing her hand to her ear so she could hear her better. Tandy went silent on the other end of the line.

"…But thanks for taking the girls away backstage today... Thanks for taking them home after too. I owe you." Rayna spoke softly, hoping that she'd quit being quite and speak.

"That's ok, It's not a problem. They pretty much crashed when we walked in the door…they're good girls Rayna."

Rayna nodded; still spinning she stopped mid step when she saw Liam.

"I know they are…listen I've gotta go. Bye." Rayna replied, hanging up the cell phone as she walked towards him.

"I've got a favour to ask."

"_Now _you want to play nice?" Liam smiled.

"Shush it. Listen I sent home my driver thinking Teddy would be here…and he's not…and I need to see him…and I can't drive right no-" Rayna explained, slowing as she neared the point of having to ask for his help.

"-You want me to drive you somewhere? What if _I'm_ drunk?" Liam teased, well aware that he hadn't exceeded the alcohol limit yet. When Rayna had stormed out earlier he had spent most of the night shadowing Juliette, pushing her buttons whenever he had the chance. Liam had found that to be more amusing than spending a night alone at the bar.

"Can you drive me or not?" Rayna asked impatiently.

"Touchy…ok I get it…come on let's go." Liam smiled, guiding her out to his car. "Where are we going anyway?"

"The Mayor's office." Rayna replied, opening the door.

"This'll be fun." Liam replied, gleefully rubbing his hands together.

"Oh no." She shook her head in disapproval. "You're not coming in with me. You're just dropping me off and leaving."

"You are seriously using me as your personal car service and you won't let me have any fun? That is rude."

"That's the idea." Rayna giggled.

**- NASHVILLE -**

Walking up the long, dimly lit corridor Rayna slowed her stride as she rehearsed what she wanted to say to Teddy. There was going to be no easy way to do this, but leaving unsaid unspoken was tearing things further apart. They'd become well versed in how to switch between talking a little less and starting arguments. She didn't care for complicated anymore; it was time to tell him the truth. Deacon had kissed her twice and she had kissed him too. Rayna didn't know what Teddy would say but she couldn't leave this stone unturned any longer.

Her hand shook as she turned the door handle. Looking at her feet, she opened the door. Of all the things Rayna had prepared herself to see, she hadn't been at all prepared for this. Teddy lay pressed against another woman in a passionate embrace. Reality crashing in, her knees fought not to give way as her mind screamed for answers.

"Teddy?...What's goi...Peg…" Rayna said faintly, the sound of her words lost in her confusion.

Speechless she watched as Teddy scrambled to separate himself from Peggy who lay gasping and shirtless on his desk. Fumbling to button his shirt, he backed away.

"Rayna…I can explain."

"This is _your_ idea of _space_?" She struggled to mock him as she used an earlier arguments reference. Steadying herself, she gripped the doorframe.

"Rayna, it's not what it looks lik-" Teddy scrambled, desperately trying to get her to look at him.

"-Oh no, it's not getting caught screwing _her" _Rayna angrily motioned in Peggy's direction before letting venom creep into her voice. "On your desk…no it's not that at all."

Silence fell across the room, Rayna couldn't see straight anymore. The surprise alone had left her blind and reeling, unable to recall the things she had earlier wanted to say or why she was here at all. Slowly she released the doorframe from her hold, leaning against the wall closest to the door instead.

"It was a mistake." Teddy spoke, feeling for words that would defuse the situation.

"This is _not_ a mistake." Rayna corrected him, fire in her eyes.

"You're right, it wasn't a mistake." Peggy said carelessly, intent on further wounding Rayna as she cautiously slipped off the desk to pick up her shirt. Teddy shot her an angry look.

"Why are you even talking?!" Rayna exclaimed irritably, ignoring Peggy's cold stare as she let her gaze return to Teddy. Peggy began to button up her shirt, looking away from them. Her thoughtlessness in remaining put astounded Rayna; she willed Peggy to leave.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Teddy answered.

"You're right you shouldn't have said that."

"I didn't mean for this to happen I swear. It just…she was there when I needed…she was there…it just _happened_." He answered poorly.

"I don't believe this. You accuse _me_ of fooling around and not taking us seriously... why don't you take a look at yourself Teddy!" She yelled.

"I had a valid reason for saying the things I did." He replied, throwing his hands up in the air. "And _you know_ exactly why."

"Why don't _you_ tell me _why_?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"I can't believe…" He mumbled, before matching her volume. "Don't be getting all self righteous Rayna. You've decided we were over for a long time. You just never saw the need to share that with me. I see it in your eyes. I keep waiting waiting for you to love me…but I'm never good enough. You said you want to make it work and then leave me here and go out on tour with _him_. So forgive me for not believing you when you say you're taking us seriously!"

"I told you I didn't know _he _was coming! He's not even in my band Teddy!"

"You stopped cold in you're tracks when I asked you what you and Deacon had been doing that day in LA when I flew out with the girls."

"Don't turn this around on me Teddy! I wasn't the one caught with my pants down."

"Stop pretending you care!" He fumed, angry that she wouldn't admit he was right.

"Do not blame me for _this_." She waved her hand in the air.

"Why?" Peggy chirped, pushing herself into the argument.

"Seriously, why are you still here? I do not have to justify myself...or my marriage to anyone…especially _you _of all people." Rayna spat, pushing herself off the wall as she filled with anger.

"You brought this on yourself Rayna." Peggy continued.

"You're a piece of work you know that?" Rayna shook her head, raising her hands to her hips as she took a step in her direction. Teddy backed down, too scared to interfere as he watched Peggy shrug off Rayna's comment.

"Get…out." Rayna breathed evenly.

"Did you think he'd wait forever? Seriously?" Peggy countered, welcoming the way Rayna squirmed as she talked about Teddy. "You haven't bothered to put him first for a long time…you have more concern for you're guitarist than you're husband…. hang on, you fired _Deacon_ right?...How's he taking it?"

Rayna's cheeks flushed as her eyes moved to Teddy's. Silently she begged him to get Peggy to stop. She swallowed hard when he sharply looked away, remaining wordless still.

"Don't talk about Deacon like you know him." Rayna shot, recomposing herself. "Hell, don't talk about me like you know me either, because you don't. You don't know anything."

Peggy and Rayna now stood metres away from one another, both determined not to back down.

"I _know_ that you _never_ deserved Tedd-" She taunted Rayna, stepping closing.

"-Go to hell!" Rayna yelled, stopping Peggy mid sentence as she slapped her across the face. Peggy went to return an equal blow but Teddy caught her hand just in time.

"Ok enough!" Teddy interjected firmly as he restrained the feisty woman, gently leading her towards the door.

"Get out!" Rayna screamed, following Peggy with her eyes as she heard Teddy telling her to calm down.

"You don't deserve him!" Peggy yelled, struggling to loosen Teddy's grip.

"Peggy stop!" Teddy pleaded, tightening his grip. "You need to leave. Now."

Rayna swore at how she had reacted in the heat of the moment. She ran her hands through her hair, pacing back and forth as she watched Teddy quietly shut the door behind him after walking Peggy to the elevator.

"Don't look at me like that." Rayna's bottom lip quivered. "How else was I supposed to react?...finding you like this…and she…she's just a" Rayna whispered, cutting herself off when he refused to acknowledge her reasoning.

Teddy made his way silently over to a chair, motioning for her to sit down. They sat soundlessly, each grasping for words that sounded right. With no underlying expectations, they regretfully prepared themselves for the things they had desperately tiptoed around wanting to hear. Rayna knew the end had been sneaking in for sometime, relentlessly tugging at her insides whenever she thought about we're their future was headed. The sting that came with finding Teddy wrapped up in another woman's arms was enough of a reminder. It reminded her that she was fooling herself into thinking that they were ever going to make it back to where they had once been.

"I'm sorry." Teddy whispered before rushing into what he said next. "I shouldn't have said those things to you…you trusted me and I threw that in you're face…again. Please forgive me…Rayna please give me another chance to make it up t-"

Avoiding his eye's she shook her head. Guilt and defeat overtook Rayna as she began to shake, thinking about why she had initially sought out his company tonight. Suddenly it didn't feel nearly as impossible as she had thought it would to speak her mind.

"I kissed him." She said flatly as she interrupted him, shame creeping into her voice. Teddy froze.

"You kissed him." Teddy repeated, running his hands over his face to hide his frustration.

"I kissed him…more than once." She replied, nodding her head as she digested the words coming out of her mouth for the second time. Rashly, Teddy reached out for her hand and squeezed.

"What is happening to us?" He asked, picking apart what she had said. Rayna let go of his hand.

"The difference is that I didn't sleep with Deacon."

"There's no difference in what either of us did. We _both_ did something stupid."

"No difference? Are you serious? It is a hell of a lot _different_ Teddy." Rayna argued, eyes wide at what he had said.

"Rayna please don't do this." Teddy started, anticipating where Rayna was headed with this conversation. "Think about the girls...our family…you can'-"

"-I _am_ thinking about the girls!" Rayna cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "You didn't have to do this. You had a choice, the moment you started unbuttoning her shirt and you…_you_ had a choice."

"Rayna please." He tried again, reaching out for her knee. Flinching, she pulled away and stood. She didn't want to hear anymore. Dazed and shattered, Rayna began to walk backwards.

"I thought…I thought…" She choked. Teddy gracelessly stood, hesitantly following her. "…I was the only one who was too proud to admit this wasn't working, the only one who felt like this…I couldn't live with myself for lying about what I really wanted…but the truth is…you are just like me because _you were lying too_."

"Rayna."

"You slept with her Teddy. You've made it clear where you stand."

"You kissed Deacon."

"I _know_ I hurt you, but _you hurt me too_." Rayna answered, choking on the last word.

"I thought we…_you_ said if we both wanted it, we could make it work? I want this to work." He strained, his eyes searching hers desperately.

"You just gave me a reason to leave." She breathed, holding back tears as she swung the door open.

"Go on then, run to Deacon!" He replied resentfully, bitterness heavy on his face. Rayna stood tight-lipped as she bit her tongue.

"That's where you're going isn't it?" Teddy continued, holding her gaze as he waited for an answer.

Rayna spun on her heel, letting the slam of the door ring through the corridor as she left him standing alone.

Impatiently hammering the button for the elevator, Rayna kept nervously looking over her shoulder expecting Teddy to appear. Unconsciously, she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and began to sift through her contacts. Letting her fingers linger over Deacon's number she fought with her better judgement. The elevator doors creaked open pulling her from her inner emotional tug-of-war. Rayna swore, shoving her cell phone back into her pocket as she stepped inside.


	13. Chapter 13

**TO THOSE WHO ARE STILL ON THIS JOURNEY WITH ME, thank you for your reviews and your kindness...in this chapter I had an idea to try something new, I felt like I could only do a scene justice by giving perspectives from both Rayna and Deacon so that is what I have done...therefore, this chapter is a little longer. After this chapter, we also begin the countdown to the last three chapters of LITTLE VOICE. I am tossing up whether to split the last chapter, we shall see how we go...thank you again, you are all way too kind.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**One week later…**

Rayna stumbled out of the bathroom, vigorously brushing her teeth as she searched for the TV remote under sheet music, takeaway boxes, chocolate bars and candy wrappers that lay sprawled on the sofa. If the state of the penthouse lounge room was any indicator of how she was feeling, she felt like a storm had run her through, leaving every part of her in a state of madness and disorder. Rayna had brought a whole new meaning to eating your feelings this past week. In between press releases, meetings with publicists and lawyers, making two trips back to Nashville and spending time with Maddie and Daphne, she had retreated to the penthouse at night with a bag of food in hand.

The tour had been put on a temporary standstill, leaving them stuck in Chicago. The label had been worried about Rayna's wellbeing and how it would reflect on them if they forced her to perform when she was in no state to do so. Rayna had assured them she was fine but they refused to budge from their decision. Juliette had been less than happy about this arrangement but never attempted to tell Rayna outright what she felt, sensing she needed space. Instead Juliette ran her mouth off to her manager, letting him hear each and every one of her opinions. Rayna was relieved when Bucky managed to convince Marshall Evans to get the wheels on the tour turning again. Whatever miracle he pulled she wasn't sure, but three nights from now they would start playing shows again.

Finding the remote, Rayna tossed it in the air in victory. She was prolonging the inevitable rehearsal Bucky had reminded her she had to attend that afternoon by distracting herself with the news and making herself seem a little more presentable. Turning the television on she walked back into the bathroom to rinse her mouth out. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and frowned as she started to gargle. Rayna stopped short, abruptly turning the tap off when she tuned into the newsreaders voice in the next room.

"_In other news, Queen of Country Rayna Jaymes and husband Teddy Conrad are calling it quits. After twelve years of marriage Rayna and Teddy are getting a divorce."_

Rayna flinched at how gleefully that last sentence seemed to roll off the woman's tongue. Wiping her mouth, she hesitantly walked out and sat on the sofa.

"_Publicists for both Jaymes and Conrad have released a joint statement regarding the sad news saying quote" "This is a personal and private matter for both us, and our daughters. We are committed as parents to seeing that both of our daughter's best interests are accomplished and ask you to respect our request to keep matters affecting our family private." _

Rayna squeezed her hands together, knuckles turning white as she forced herself to continue listening.

"_Now there's been speculation about the future of the couples marriage for years; especially with sources claiming that Jaymes never really ended her relationship with ex-lead guitar player Deacon Claybourne after she settled down and married. That must have put a lot of strain on the marriage if you ask me. What are you're thoughts?" _

"My thoughts are my husband screwed another woman…yet you keep making claims about me sleeping with Deacon…which I did _not_ do…thank you for asking!" She yelled, running her hands through her hair.

She flushed red, burying her head in her knees. If this was what the rumour mill had turning she only imagined what was going through people's heads. She hoped Teddy had had the mind to take away the electronics and newspapers from the girls at the hotel they were staying at. They didn't need to hear or see any of it. Rayna and Teddy had decided to take the girls out of school this week to shield them from any traumatic schoolyard experiences. They had flown out to Chicago and were staying in a hotel across the road, giving the girls the opportunity to see Rayna before the tour started up again. Teddy and Rayna may not have been on the best speaking terms, but they both agreed on one thing, keeping things as normal as possible for the girls.

"_How do you think Rayna will go taking to the stage Friday night in Chicago for the first time since this hard-hitting news rocked the world? You're gonna want to hope she doesn't chok-"_

"-Oh, shut up!" Rayna fumed, throwing the remote control at the floor after she turned the TV off.

Clicking her tongue, she looked around the room at the mess she'd made the night before. After Teddy had picked up Maddie and Daphne she had acquainted herself with her favourite comfort foods. Fear suddenly overtook her as realisation sunk in. Today was Tuesday, the day Teddy was returning to Nashville with the girls. If they were leaving today, they'd be over here any minute.

Smelling a Chinese take away box, Rayna gagged. She picked up a plastic bag and began to quickly fill it with all the questionable wrappers and items that surrounded her.

A good ten minutes later she spun around, satisfied that the penthouse lounge room looked acceptable again. As she walked over to the kitchen bench her cell phone started buzzing.

"Hello?"

"Momma?" Daphne asked.

"Hey baby! Where are you?" Rayna answered, cringing at how excessive she had made that sound.

"Downstairs…at least I think we're downstairs…Maddie we'r…hey!-" Daphne replied.

"-Mom, we're downstairs in the lobby. Where are you?" Maddie interrupted, taking the phone off her little sister.

"I'm upstairs in the penthouse." Rayna smiled, stifling giggles when she heard Daphne whinging in the background. "Did you want me to come down?"

"No it's ok, Dad said…we'll all just come up." Maddie mechanically replied, clearly repeating what Teddy had asked her to say.

"Ok? See you in a few."

Rayna clapped her hands and swung her arms as she paced back and forth waiting for them to arrive. It had been a little under a week since they'd told Maddie and Daphne about the divorce and Rayna had hated every minute of it. Both Maddie and Daphne sat brave faced and timidly asked them questions they couldn't answer. This only made Rayna angry with herself for not being able to comfort them with the things they wanted to hear. Teddy seemed to be at a loss for words too because he remained silent, looking to Rayna for direction. Instead of fumbling around with details, she and Teddy had held them tight and told them they loved them. Whether they believed it was a whole other story. Rayna snapped her head in the direction of the door when she heard three small knocks.

"Mommy!" Daphne beamed as Rayna opened the door.

"Hey!" Rayna exclaimed, pulling both Maddie and Daphne into a hug before they pushed past her into the penthouse.

"Hi." Teddy weakly greeted, ramming his hands in his pockets.

"Hi." Rayna matched his greeting, stepping back to let him in.

Before the awkwardness got the better of them, Maddie and Daphne ran in in their bathing suits. This made both Rayna and Teddy laugh.

"We want to go for a swim in the pool! Mom's is bigger than ours!" Daphne squealed, spinning in circles.

"Please…? We won't be too long we promise." Maddie asked.

"Alright, just this once. Not too long though because we have a plane to catch." Teddy grinned, happy to see them smiling.

Before Rayna and Teddy could say their goodbyes, Maddie and Daphne were slamming the door. The silence broke up the once cheery mood, leaving them floundering for what to say.

"Coffee." Rayna stated more than asked as she walked over the kettle.

"Sure."

"Thanks for this. Bringing them over and all."

"I didn't do it for you Rayna. I didn't it for Maddie and Daphne." Teddy replied flatly.

"I know that." She assured him unconvincingly, looking at the ceiling as she stood in the kitchen.

"How's Deacon?" Teddy asked, changing tracks as he wandered over to the outer side of the kitchen counter.

"How's Peggy?" Rayna countered, pulling two mugs out of the cupboard.

"I guess he's got what he always wanted."

"He hasn't _got me_ Teddy, besides I could say the same about _her_."

"Are you happy now Rayna?" Teddy asked, ignoring her comment.

"What are you talking about? My husband cheated, I feel like the worst mother, I can't leave the hotel without a camera getting in my face and hell I've had to change my cell number, you know that! We are in the middle of a divorce that the media is catching onto like wildfire, making accusations and assumptions about our marriage and the divorce that they have no right to make…so Teddy how on earth do you think I'm _happy_?" Rayna replied, irritated at his choice of words.

"We could have tried to make it work." Teddy said bitterly, taking his cup of coffee.

"Don't do that, you know we couldn't have. Not after everything, not after the Election Night."

"Fine, at least admit that part of you left because of Deacon?"

"I'm not seeing Deacon! No romance, no nothing. Besides it's not you're business anymore." Rayna shot angrily, sipping her coffee as she looked away.

That was the truth; she hadn't seen Deacon since the Election Night when she'd turned up on his doorstep. She ached inside with a kind of burning that couldn't be satisfied. She was in a constant battle with her mind that relentlessly fought to retell the memories of his lips on hers, the smell of his skin when he stood so close and the way his hands felt around her waist. Rayna shuddered as she recalled the many nights this week she had lay staring at her cell phone, fingers hovering over his number. Whether it was pride or fear that prevented her from hitting the call button, she wasn't entirely sure. More than anything she wanted to be held by him, protected by the fortress of his arms. But all the same, she dreaded rejection and the thought that it was too much to ask of him. Especially after the complicated hand she'd dealt this past few weeks.

"It is my business if it'll involve Maddie and Daphne." Teddy corrected her. "Speaking of which, you make me out as a good liar but you're just the same. You've lied to Deacon for twelve years. Kind of hypocritical if you ask me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rayna lied, flinching at where he was going with the conversation.

"Does he even know that he has a daughter?" Teddy questioned, staring at her coldly. Rayna froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You _know_ why I never told him." She whispered, her voice catching on the last words.

"Does that change the fact that maybe he deserves to know?"

"You wouldn't…not now…" Rayna spoke unevenly, shaking her head.

"After this past week, Rayna I don't know what I'd do anymore." Teddy confessed, putting his cup down.

"Please…don't…this has nothing to do with Maddie or Deacon, this is about us. Do not punish them because of this." Rayna pleaded, gesturing between them.

"You tell him, or I will."

"You'd hurt Maddie like that?" Rayna asked, her voice breaking.

"You'd hurt Deacon like that?...not telling him the truth." Teddy replied, turning the question back on her.

"Ok, you need to leave." Rayna angrily interrupted, taking his cup out of his hands and throwing it in the sink. "We're not doing this. You know why Deacon doesn't know and I cannot believe you would come in here and intimidate me like that."

"It's you or me." Teddy insistently reminded her as she steered him to the door.

"Leave him out of this." Rayna demanded as she opened the door, gesturing for him to go.

"I'm going down to the pool. I'll bring the girls up before we go to say goodbye."

"Fine." She said coolly, slamming the door. Resting her head on the door she began to shake, cries escaping her mouth as tears began to fall. Gasping she turned around, leaning against the door for support as she gracelessly collapsed into a sobbing mess.

**- NASHVILLE - **

**Rayna's perspective **

''Wish that I didn't have to see a confidant as an enemy. Count on lies and the lines you cross, helplessly I can only watch.'' Rayna sang into her microphone, gesturing to the man behind the sound desk to turn her fold back down. 'Dodging words as they ricochet, honesty that'll never pay. Your convictions I believe, like an apparition haunting me.''

Taking to the chorus, Rayna watched the back and forth hum of the crew running with trolleys and equipment. She smiled at the occasional individual that was trying to steal a look at the rehearsal instead of doing the task that was set before them. Spinning around she giggled as Liam chased her around the stage, trying to catch her while he played and she sang. Stepping back up to centre stage, Rayna nearly tripped over her feet when she saw Deacon and Juliette quietly take a seat in the seventh row.

Nervously Rayna continued, pretending not to notice their presence. His eyes burned into her skin making her shiver as they pleaded her to look in his direction. All clarity and confidence abandoned her as she fought her emotions not to overtake her.

"Now the truth is a ball and chain, holding my conscience to the flame. Covered up, but still I know the secret of the life you guilty of." Rayna sung weakly before stepping away from the microphone stand as she shook her head.

Uneasiness began to wash over Rayna as Teddy's words flooded her mind. _You're just the same. You've lied to Deacon for twelve years. _Rayna stumbled backwards, the music now becoming background noise. _You'd hurt Deacon like that? _She ran her hands through her hair, suddenly feeling unsteady. _You tell him, or I will._ Trembling, Rayna bit her nails anxiously and looked out into the empty arena in search of Deacon's face.

"Deacon." She whispered.

**- NASHVILLE -**

**Deacon's Perspective**

"What is _that_?" Juliette quipped, watching Rayna and Liam chase each other around the stage.

"I thought this was _just_ a rehearsal…" Deacon replied, clenching his jaw when he saw what Juliette had.

"Yeah well, that's a lot more than just rehearsing."

"Come on, let's go." Deacon said firmly, walking through rows of seats till he found where he wanted to sit.

"Wait…when you said you wanted to come early, I didn't think that meant we had to listen to this." Juliette hissed, running after him.

"We're gonna listen."

"Fine." She resolved, crossing her arms as she took a seat next to him. Deacon sat silently, his eyes following Rayna intensely.

"You do realise no amount of staring at her is gonna make her love you…I've tried that once." Juliette said pointedly as she thought about her own experiences. "It doesn't work."

Deacon ignored Juliette and remained fixed on Rayna, hoping that she'd give in and look at him. It had been a week since she'd slammed the door, a week since he'd asked her what she wanted. He'd lost count of the times he had run to his hotel door, thinking he'd heard her knocking only to find that his mind had played tricks on him. His memory was cruel, taunting him with how it had felt to kiss her and the way she smiled when she caught him staring, each detail making him want her that little bit more.

"Is she alright?" Juliette asked as Rayna backed away from the microphone stand.

"What?" Deacon asked, tuning back into what Juliette was saying.

"Rayna?" Juliette impatiently replied, waving up at the stage.

Deacon looked to where Juliette had pointed and his stomach fell through the floor as he scrambled to get out of his seat. He didn't need Rayna to say anything, her eyes told him all he needed to know.

"Ray." Deacon whispered, running towards the stage.

**- NASHVILLE -**

Jumping onto the stage, Deacon caught Rayna as she readily collapsed into his arms. Everybody around them awkwardly looked away and began fiddling with instruments or equipment to give them privacy.

"Hey…" Deacon soothed, still not quite sure what had set her off.

"It's too loud, my fold back...it's too...My voice is all distorted and I hate the way I sound." Rayna mumbled into his chest, letting him hold her.

"Ok." Deacon replied unconvinced, now feeling the stares of those around them.

Rayna began to pull at the power pack clipped to her jeans, ripping the earpieces out. Deacon calmly took it off her before she could throw it at the ground. Out of the corner of his eye Bucky appeared, concern clearly on his face.

"Rehearsals over." Deacon mouthed, still holding Rayna.

"Rehearsals over." Bucky promptly announced, sending everyone away as he followed after them.

Sitting intertwined on the stage, Rayna's heartbeat steadied as she felt the warmth of his arms around her. In the stillness Rayna found a space with him that made her feel safe from everybody else, a place where there was no talking, no time, just them. She resisted pulling away when he spoke.

"Ray." Deacon whispered into the tangles of her hair that fell across his face.

Rayna shook her head. She wanted to stay far away from the feelings that had caused her to fall in the first place. She didn't want to think about what would happen tomorrow, she just wanted stay where things felt right.

"Can you just keep me close?" She asked, resting her forehead on his.

Deacon answered by pulling her further towards him, tightly surrounding her in warmth and safety.


	14. Chapter 14

**NB: After reassessing the final chapters, I have decided to split 2 chapters now taking LITTLE VOICE from being a 16 chapter story to a 18 chapter one. So there is a little bit to go. Thank you again for your reviews and enthusiasm towards this piece...I appreciate you all. **

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**Three days later**

Slamming the driver door to the SUV, Rayna pushed her sunglasses on as she automatically lowered her eyes to avoid the aggressive lights of camera flashes.

"Talked to Teddy lately Rayna! Rayna!? Rayna!" Someone shouted from behind a camera, pressing the button furiously.

She winced as she found herself surrounded by paparazzi mercilessly imposing themselves on her. Blinded by the lights and the piercing questions, Rayna tried to cover her face as she made her way to the hotel entrance.

"Where's Deacon?! What does he think about the divorce? Rayna!"

"Are you dating Deacon now?"

"Is he why you and Teddy got a divorce?!"

"How's Teddy?! How are the kids?"

"Rayna, look over here. Over here!"

"Are you nervous about tonight? Think you can handle it?"

"Rayna! Rayna! Here! Here! Look here!"

Rayna ignored the obtrusive questions, adopting a cold and hard demeanour as she silently let herself crumble inside. She wanted them to all disappear, to leave her alone. The media had played a cruel game this past week, chasing her down in the hope of a photo or the chance that she would say something that could add fuel to their fire. Rayna had barely made it seven feet from her car, the overpowering wall of flashes refusing to let her through. Rayna panicked as she began to step back and forth insistently trying to find a way out.

"Y'all come on. You need to back up." She spoke firmly, holding her hands out in front of her to put distance between them. By the way the cameras continued to flash feverishly, she knew that her plea was a lost cause. Rayna shrieked, tripping over her feet when a man crashed into her with his camera.

"Hey!" Deacon bellowed, tearing through the sea of lights and flashes. Rayna's eyes shot up in search of the familiar voice, relief flooding her when she saw Deacon's face.

"Back off! Don't you touch her?!" He yelled as he shoved the man who had pushed her. Deacon pulled Rayna into his arms to shield her; she buried her head in his chest. "Hey?! Back off!"

A number of the photographers took a few steps back, startled by the venom in his voice. Others continued to attack them with questions.

"Are you dating?"

"So the rumours are true?"

"Deacon! Over here!"

"Hey! Look over here!"

"Get out of her face! I mean it! Move!" Deacon threatened, holding Rayna closer as they charged through the crowd to the hotel entrance.

"Y'all need to find someone else to terrorise." He muttered over his shoulder as he held open the glass door for Rayna.

Once inside, Rayna apprehensively removed herself from his side, shaking off the uneasiness that filled her. Deacon watched her closely, aware that the media attention was beginning to get the better of her.

"Thanks." She whispered uneasily, running her hand through her hair.

"For what?" He asked, pretending to be oblivious as he walked past her.

"You _know what_." She smiled, patting his shoulder as she followed him.

"Do I?" He replied, returning the smile. Deacon stopped at a vending machine, digging in his pocket for money.

Since the rehearsal, they had both silently resolved to not ask questions; content for the moments they shared to remain hidden away in a place just for them. A place where there were no expectations, no lies, no nothing, only she and him. Rayna hadn't expected Deacon to catch her when she fell, certain that he had given up on her. But he had proved her wrong, breaking down the walls of rejection she had slowly begun to build around herself. They had sat silently while he had held her anyway he could, dutifully protecting her from the troubles she refused to share. It was then that they both began to wonder where these moments would one day lead.

"Hungry?"

Rayna's eye's widened in disgust as she shook her head vehemently. "I feel like I'm about to be sick."

"Suit yourself." He shrugged, opening a packet of chips as he sat on the bottom step of the stairs in in the lobby. Rayna stood awkwardly as she tried to figure out if this was her cue to stay or go. Hesitantly, she sat beside him and rubbed her palms on her knees.

"It is not like you _not_ to want these." Deacon coaxed, thrusting the chip packet in her face. Rayna pushed it away. "Please tell me you're not on one of those stupid diets that all the celebrities are going on, because that is just pathetic."

Rayna shot him a look, only to burst into laughter at the seriousness on his face. "I'm not one of those crazy dieters..._no_. I'm just…it doesn't matter."

"Come on, now you _have_ to tell me."

"You're going think it's stupid." Rayna replied, playing with her hands.

"Try me." He replied, scrunching up the empty chip packet. Rayna nervously looked at him out of the corner of her eye as she pushed a loose strand of hair off her face.

"I'm scared." She admitted, tugging at her jeans.

"Scared?" He asked curiously.

"Terrified. I know I shouldn't believe what people are saying but what if I screw up? I can't do it. Deacon I'm gonna choke…I can't…maybe I shouldn't do this."

"Tonight's show?"

She nodded, fear causing her to tremble at the thought of forgetting the lyrics to her own songs. Her mind darted in all different directions as she recalled what had happened at her rehearsal. Deacon reached out for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers to steady her shaking. Rayna reflexively went to pull away but he refused to let go.

"Come on." He said determinedly, pulling her to her feet.

"What? Where are we-"

"-Just trust me." He interrupted, dragging her through the lobby towards the entrance before stopping abruptly. Rayna crashed into him, causing him to sidestep.

"Maybe we should try the back door?" He asked, looking out the glass doors at the crowd of waiting photographers.

"Back door? Deacon where are we go-." Rayna replied, clinging to his jacket.

"-Come on." He smiled, ignoring her questions as he took her hand and headed for the back entrance.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Deacon what are we doing?"

"Would you just shush?" Deacon replied, guiding her from behind as he covered her eyes. Rayna fought not to laugh at his tone and the way he led her. She found herself focusing on the way his body moved against hers, how his arms felt around her and the way his breath sat, hot on her neck. She had forgotten how it felt to be closer to him than the impressions of him her dreams. Rayna shivered, squirming to loosen his grip. He refused to release his hold, smiling as he recognised that she was feeling what he was.

"Ok there are stairs here. Ready?"

"This'd be a whole lot easier if you just let me open my eye-" She argued.

"-No! Not yet."

"Deacon, I swear if you don't take your hands off my ey-"

"-Now." He whispered, removing his hands.

Rayna squinted as her eyes adjusted to the stage lights and slowly spun around, taking in her surroundings. They stood alone in the middle of the stage in the empty arena. Silence ringing in her ears, she struggled to understand why Deacon had brought her here.

"Why are we here?" Rayna whispered, turning to look at him. Deacon stepped towards her and tentatively reached out for her hand.

"We're here because you need to remember."

"I need to remember?"

"Sit down." Deacon replied, patting the empty space next to him as he took a seat on the stage floor. Rayna sat cross-legged and looked at him sceptically as she waited for an explanation.

"Now what?"

"You're scared because you are second guessing something that shouldn't be second guessed." He spoke, looking out into the unlit arena. She looked curiously at him. "You're second guessing you."

"No I'm not." She lied, trying to meet his gaze. Deacon's eyes widened, telling her he wasn't buying it. "Do you remember the first time-?"

"-At the Bluebird?" Rayna interrupted him. He smiled at her impatience, before continuing on with what he had begun to say.

"At the Bluebird when we sang together. Ray, people weren't there to listen to me; they were there to listen to you…that night you had the whole room captivated the moment you opened your mouth…and you've kept doing that up to this day."

Rayna pulled her knees up to her chest and thought about what he had said. She blushed when she caught him staring. They both quickly averted their eyes; shaking the inner exhilaration they were experiencing.

"You've always said your passion for music comes from being able to share a story, to share who you were with people. This is that exactly. You, the stage, the lights, the people and your songs. You are _made_ to do this." He pressed, shifting his body so he faced her.

"What if I choke." Rayna replied, her voice full of shame.

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"You won't because you're going to practise right now...with me." He said certainly, looking her in the eye. Rayna shot him an unbelieving look. Ignoring her, Deacon stood.

"Sing to me."

"No." She replied flatly as she stubbornly remained seated. Deacon smirked, crossing his arms.

"For once why don't you get down off your high heels, you're no big deal can't you see?" He sung spontaneously, not once taking his eyes off her. Rayna shuddered as his voice pierced the stillness, red colouring her cheeks when she recognised the lyrics. Out of all the songs to choose from, he _would_ choose that one. Suddenly she wasn't feeling so frightened about the show, confidence sparking a flame within that encouraged her to join Deacon.

"I know why you're lonely. It's time you knew it too." They sung together as Rayna stood to stand in front of him. "No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you…like I do."

"Like I do." He sung, holding out his hand to her.

"Like I do." She sung, intertwining her fingers with his.

Slipping into silence, the mood changed as their hands denied them the right to let go. Staring at their fingers, Rayna blushed as she thought about how their hearts had taken the moment's innocence and turned it into unspoken desire. Deacon smiled knowingly, catching her eyes when she looked up.

"If you choke…remember this." He grinned, leaning his forehead against hers. Rayna nodded, her forehead still rested on his. Gently, he let his thumbs brush her cheeks as he looked into her eyes, slowly stepping towards her.

Instantaneously, one after the other, the house lights in the arena began to flicker on causing Deacon and Rayna to promptly step apart. A number of crewmembers began to file in from different entrances.

"Rayna! There you are!" Bucky called, walking up the steps onto the stage. "Liam's been trying to get a hold of you about last minute set changes? Or something along those lines."

"Sorry, I've been." She replied, shoving her hands into her pockets as she tried to shake her giddiness. "busy." She mumbled, looking away in Deacon's direction.

"Well the shows in less than four hours away so I suggest you find him." Bucky replied, looking over her shoulder curiously at Deacon as he silently walked off the stage. "What is going on here?"

"What are you talking about?"

"With Deacon?"

"Nothing is going on with Deacon." Rayna squeaked, immediately irritated at the unevenness in her voice. Bucky looked at her sceptically. "Why?"

"People are talking."

"People are talking? Don't tell me you're actually listening to the gossip?" Rayna scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Rayna I'm serious." Bucky replied evenly.

"And I really need to find Liam before the show. Thanks Buck!" She smiled, ignoring his comments as she ran down the stage stairs.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Thank you Chicago!" Rayna shouted, waving her hands above her head as she and Liam walked off the stage. Buzzing from the adrenaline that came with finishing a show, Rayna skipped down the stairs. She hadn't missed one single beat tonight, holding the arena in the palm of her hand as she sang song after song. Rayna wanted to find Deacon so she could thank him for believing in her when she had doubted herself. There was something about the small and insignificant things, like being sung to in an empty arena or protected from paparazzi that excited her and made her feel like she was discovering who Deacon was all over again. Giggly, Rayna shot Bucky a confused look when he stepped in front of her.

"You may want to dial it back?" Bucky greeted subtly.

"What?"

"Just remember to breathe ok...I'll be right over hear if you need me." He continued, squeezing her arm lightly before stepping out of her way. Rayna turned to look at him, waiting for an explanation to his cryptic comments.

"Rayna." A deep, smooth voice greeted her. She froze, immediately recognising the voice.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, not looking behind her to see who had spoken.

"Well that's no way to greet your Father." Lamar grinned, stepping towards her. Rayna turned around to face him, forcing her knees not to give way when she saw Teddy standing next to him.

"I thought I told you to leave." She hissed, glaring at Teddy. "Instead, you take the girls home and come back with Daddy? Really?"

"Rayna, I'm he-" Teddy started.

"-Teddy I've got this." Lamar interrupted, silencing Teddy as he raised a hand. Rayna fidgeted as she caught a number of people slowing their pace to catch their conversation.

"Do you think it is really wise to be gallivanting across the world on an arena tour when you have a family at home that is in desperate need of you?" Lamar continued.

"My family is none of your business." She breathed.

"It is when it involves the divorce of Nashville's highest profile couple being publicised in every magazine and newspaper."

"No it's not actually." She pressed, crossing her arms.

"What will happen when the magazines and newspapers catch onto the real paternity of little Maddie?" He asked, smiling when he saw the shock on her face. "I assume that would be quite an ugly way for that information to be discovered?"

"I swear Teddy, if you have done something as nasty as going to the tabloids about this, I will-" Rayna breathed, anger in her eyes.

"-I haven't." He replied.

"You have the opportunity to save both Maddie and Deacon the heartache if you just come home and start things over." Lamar spoke, looking his daughter in the eyes.

"Are you crazy Daddy? I'm not coming home, especially with either of you!" She exclaimed.

"So I take it he doesn't know?" Teddy mumbled, ramming his hands into his pockets.

"Why would you say that?" Rayna replied impatiently.

"Because if he did, he would want out of this tour quicker than you could ever imagine. And since I saw his name on a door back there, I can only assume he doesn't know." Lamar answered merrily. "There is nothing worse than being lied to."

"You have no idea." She replied, staring at both men coldly.

"Rayna you are skating on thin ice. It won't be long till it breaks." Lamar warned, smiling at people walking past. "There's still time to come home, to make things work."

Rayna shook her head in bewilderment at their attempts to blackmail her into second guessing her judgement about what she wanted for her future. Teddy stopped her dead in her tracks.

"I meant what I said Rayna, I have nothing to lose anymore. Deacon deserves to know the truth. You tell him, or I will." He said firmly, standing a little straighter. Rayna stepped closer to them, lowering her voice so that she was loud enough to only be heard by them.

"The thought that either of you are willing to use Maddie as a bargaining chip in your own twisted game is beyond me...I refuse to play…you cannot keep threatening me with this…I'm done."

"Rayn-" Teddy started.

"-I trust you can see yourselves out?" She spat, turning on her heel to walk away.

Storming off, Rayna desperately tried to shake the uneasiness that was relentlessly trying to stay put. Wrapping her arms around herself, she wrestled with her heart as she lost it to thoughts about Deacon.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**Two Weeks Later**

Tapping her cell phone with her hand, Rayna paced back and forth in front of the newly assembled stage. She checked her cell phone and frowned. No reply to her message and no missed calls. She didn't blame him for not responding, she had given Deacon more mixed signals than she cared to think about. Since Chicago, Rayna had remained in a constant state of unease and restlessness, her Father's words haunting her wherever she went. In a bid to recover a portion of her sanity, Rayna had painfully resolved to one solution. Avoid Deacon.

She fought to put distance between Deacon and herself but neither of them brought it. Her poor attempts at expressing disinterest only encouraged him to go about ruining her with smiles and glances, always in secret the way that lovers tend to do. Rayna blushed when she thought about it because they definitely were not that, lovers. She didn't really know what they were; fear had her fumbling to stay away but her heart always had her coming back asking for more. Each time Deacon looked at her he unravelled a piece of her resolve to keep away from him. If distance was supposed to be right, Rayna wanted to be wrong. Before her better judgement had time to argue, her fingers had hit send on her cell phone.

Edgily, Rayna continued to pace as she engaged in conversation with a few of her band members who were starting to set up. Cringing at the sound of strings being tuned, Rayna jumped when two hands lightly met her shoulders.

"I didn't think you'd come." She giggled nervously as she tried to side step from his touch, recognising that it is was Deacon who stood behind her.

"You thought wrong." He replied, squeezing her shoulders as he whispered in her ear. Rayna squirmed when she realised that they now had the full attention of those standing on the stage, Deacon ignored them and stepped closer behind her.

"Thanks for doing this."

"You should count yourself lucky I showed up…you did fire me once."

Rayna shook his hands off her shoulders and swiftly made her way up the stairs and onto the stage.

"Hey guys…Deacon is gonna be joining us as the lead guitarist for rehearsal. Liam is not feeling too great…so Deacon's kindly agreed to take his place. Y'all know each other anyway so it should be fun." She clarified chirpily as she clipped the power pack for her foldback to her jeans.

"I thought you said he had a hangover?" Deacon asked curiously, stepping into her personal space.

"They don't need to know everything."

"That's for sure." He replied, raising an eyebrow as he let his fingers linger on her arm. Rayna smiled coyly, raising her microphone to her mouth.

"Alright y'all let's start at the top…you do remember how to play my songs right?" She teased Deacon as she began to walk towards centre stage.

"I think I have a vague idea."

**- NASHVILLE -**

"That's gotta kill you...getting screwed over by your guitarist _and _Rayna Jaymes." Liam presumed, walking up to stand next to Juliette who was intensely watching Rayna's rehearsal from the shadows off the left side of the stage.

"Doesn't _that_ bother you too?"

"What exactly?"

"_That_." Juliette scoffed, watching Rayna giggle as Deacon whispered in her ear.

"Nah. Right now I'm more interested in why you're standing here watching _that _if it seems to bother you so much." Liam quipped, staring at Juliette.

"He lied."

"So did she."

Juliette snapped her head in his direction, taking her eyes off Deacon and Rayna for the first time since he had started talking to her.

"Rayna lied to _you_? What'd you do to get on her bad side?" She asked enthusiastically, suddenly interested in what he had to say.

"She told me there was no rehearsal, no nothing today…I think its safe to say she lied." He replied, nodding in the direction of the music.

"He called to cancel our writing session…because he…I quote." Juliette made quotation marks in the air as she imitated Deacon's voice. "Had come down with a bad case of the flu."

Liam let out a low snicker at the fury written on her face. "So why are you here then?"

"Why are _you_ here?"

"One of the guys texted me…told me come down…he said I might not want to miss _this_." He replied, emphasising the last few words as they watched Rayna argue with Deacon about a riff he was playing incorrectly. Liam assumed Deacon was doing it intentionally to get under her skin. "Your turn."

"I saw Deacon leave his room with his guitar not long after he called...he seemed _fine_ to me."

"What? Are you stalking him now?...He was never really yours you know."

"What?" Juliette exclaimed, glaring at Liam when she looked at him.

"Do I really have to explain this to you?" He asked, letting out a long exasperated sigh. "He's _always_ belonged to Rayna…She'll never admit it." Liam nodded in the direction of the stage. "Because she's too damn proud-"

"-They're both too damn proud." Juliette interrupted, making Liam laugh as he continued. "She's too proud to admit that her heart has always belongs to him too."

"Never took you to be a romantic." Juliette smirked.

"I try." He shrugged before grimacing in disapproval when Rayna pushed Deacon away from her mic stand to block him from singing into the microphone with her.

"Oh that is pathetic…just kiss and get over it already." Juliette scoffed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I think they tried that…from what I hear they haven't quite gotten over it." Liam replied pointedly. Juliette looked at him wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Smiling wickedly as he saw Deacon and Rayna head down the stairs to the front row seats, he continued. "Feel like having some fun?"

"Not with you." She replied surely.

"What if I told you it involved crashing their rehearsal?"

"What are we, in High School?"

"Well I'm not…but you on the other han-" Liam teased. Juliette elbowed him in the stomach.

"Ok I deserved that."

She smiled. "What do you have in mind?"

Quickly, Liam dialled Bucky's number and asked him to come down to the arena. Juliette's bit her tongue to stop herself from laughing as he hung up.

"Come on." He said impatiently as he boldly walked out onto the stage and down the stairs.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"You're _very_ _friendly_ today." Rayna observed, shifting in her chair to face Deacon as she smiled.

"I'm always _friendly_."

"Deacon."

"Rayna." He mimicked her tone, intentionally excusing her comment. Leaning back into her seat, Rayna crossed her arms making him revel in her frustration. Unnoticeably, Deacon softly rested his hand on her inner thigh and leaned over the arm of the chair.

"You're making it hard _not_ to be _friendly_ Rayna." He whispered slowly, smiling as he watched her come undone.

"People are watching us." She gulped.

"Are they?"

"They are." She said curtly as she tried to move his hand away. Deacon refused to take her hint, letting his fingers linger. Rayna stifled giggles as she tried to maintain a collected exterior for those who had suddenly become interested in what they were doing.

"I didn't know we had a rehearsal today." Liam greeted loudly as he walked down the stairs. Deacon and Rayna instantly separated, pushing one another away to create further distance.

"I thought you had the flu." Juliette chimed in behind Liam.

Rayna turned to look at Deacon but he was already staring at her. She would be the first to admit that she had lied to Deacon to convince him to come, but she hadn't thought that he would have done the same thing. Rayna assumed that Deacon had come to the same conclusion because his eyes deliberately met hers before looking at Juliette. Remaining silent they both struggled to find the right thing to say.

"Clearly you're _not_ sick." Juliette stated.

"Clearly you lied about the rehearsal…why? I'm not so sure." Liam followed, crossing his arms as he smirked at Rayna.

"It's not what it looks like." Rayna tried unconvincingly as she flushed red.

"What does it look like?" Liam asked.

"Yes, what _does_ it look like?" Bucky mimicked, the sound of his voice making both Deacon and Rayna jump.

"Are you sleeping together?" Juliette queried, breaking the silence.

"What?!…No!"

"Because if you are that'd make a whole lot more sense." She continued, looking at Liam for backup. Liam nodded.

"No…just no. We're not…" Rayna replied, letting the silence finish her sentence as she shook her head feverishly. Deacon smirked as he took in the uncomfortableness of the situation.

"Seriously?" Bucky questioned.

"What is this?" Rayna demanded, running a hand though her hair.

"Can we have a moment _alone_ please." Bucky asked the others, looking straight at Rayna. Liam and Juliette swiftly disappeared while Deacon reluctantly wandered up the stairs and onto the stage.

"Really? Is this wise Rayna?"

"Buck I don't know what you're talking about."

"You are finally coming out of the worst of the divorce...especially with the media attention and all. Do you really want to throw more fuel on that fire by getting involved with Deacon so soon?" He said sincerely, hoping that she would see his logic.

"I don't know what we are Bucky…all we are is Rayna and Deacon at the moment. We're just friends…that's all." Rayna admitted, not quite believing her own words.

"Ok, if that's all that you think you are...friends." Bucky replied, leaving Rayna alone as he turned on his heel and walked away shaking his head.

Recollecting her thoughts she smiled and headed up onto the stage. As she began to sing she couldn't shake what Bucky had said about her relationship with Deacon. Up until Election Night in Nashville, they had perfected the art of creeping around what their hearts wanted. They would pull the friend card, hauling the covers back over the one thing they had worked so hard to reveal when either of them got too close. Rayna hadn't expected Deacon to take away the comfort of leaving love unspoken that night when she went looking for him, but he had. Really, he had only done what she couldn't. Deacon had said the words that they both wanted to hear. Letting his words play on her mind; she lost herself in the moment. _I want more than this. I want you. _Rayna exhaled. She was knee deep in denial if she thought that they were only friends, they were more then that and she knew it well. By the way she caught him staring, Rayna knew he was thinking the same thing too.

After finishing the last song in the set the band applauded Deacon as they thanked him for joining them. Rayna pretending not to notice, unclipping herself from wires as she handed over her microphone and power pack to the sound tech. Quietly, Rayna walked off and headed backstage. Deacon caught her hand as she walked down the stairs.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hey."

"Have dinner with me." He asked, stepping in front of her so she couldn't walk away.

"What?"

"Have dinner with me." He repeated, slowing down so that she could understand what he was asking.

"Are you?!…People are talking…they're talking…what about-"

"-Have dinner with me."

"Juliette?…and then there's Liam and Buck and the guys and-" She fretted, weakly smiling when he squeezed her hand.

"-Have dinner with me." He repeated softly, stepping closer.

"I rea-"

"-Rayna…I'm only gonna say it one more time." He said impatiently, silencing all of her excuses as she pursed her lips at his bold interruption. "Have dinner with me."

Choosing not to speak, Rayna smiled coyly as she intertwined her fingers with his, letting him lead her out the door.

**- NASHVILLE - **

"When you said dinner…McDonalds is _not_ what I thought you had in mind." Rayna teased, taking a sip of diet coke as they walked.

"_You_ were the one that demanded fast food…that." Deacon waved behind them at the McDonalds sign in the distance. "Was the closest place to get what you wanted so don't be blaming me…I only gave you what you asked for."

"I said I wanted food fast…_not_ fast food." Rayna giggled as she sidestepped, crashing into Deacon unintentionally.

Reflexively he caught Rayna, steadying her step by pulling her close to himself. Rayna laughed at her own jokes and Deacon found himself watching her instead of paying attention to where he was walking. With the weeks of turmoil sitting heavy on her face, Deacon struggled to understand why she hadn't told him about what she was going through. He grimaced, thinking back to picking up a newspaper that had Rayna and Teddy's faces plastered on the front. It had read 'Queen of Country and Mayor of Nashville call it quits'. Deacon had been so stunned that he chucked it back on the newsstand, swearing as he'd walked away in disbelief. Before Deacon knew what was happening, he found himself speaking.

"Why didn't you tell me?…"

"About Teddy?"

Deacon nodded as he watched her nervously looked in his direction before hiding her face with her hair. "I don't know what to say…I just needed space you know?…I needed it to be uncomplicated. I didn't want to have to think about my life and the mess Teddy and I had made of it…I felt like I was having to pretend I was ok-"

"-Ray you don't have to pretend with me."

"_And that's why_ I couldn't talk to you about it…it was all_ so _messy and I wanted to…I did, but I just…couldn't. I didn't even know how to explain it to myself." She fumbled, not really understanding what she was saying as she looked up into a bright streetlight.

"I need you to know I'm not going anywhere ok…I just wish you'd told me sooner." He replied, reaching out for her as he steered them down a street that would bring them to the back entrance of the hotel. Before Rayna could speak, the night sky opened up above them and she let out a loud squeal as the rain began to wash over her face. Deacon smiled, he didn't appear to care that they were getting soaked through. Rayna began to whinge when he maintained a slow and steady walk, tugging his hand harder as she dragged him to the end of the street.

"Deacon! I swear if you moved any slowe-!"

"-Rayna, I'm gonna take my time. I like the rain, don't you?" He teased as he pulled her to a stop in the car park 50 yards from the back entrance to the hotel.

"Not when it's making me cold and then there's my hair!" She replied angrily as she focused her gaze in his direction.

Deacon grinned, discreetly taking a step closer to Rayna as she continued to whinge. As the rain persistently fell, her hair stuck to her face and she irritably swung her hands trying to free herself from the tangled chaos it was becoming. It was then that Deacon knew what he wanted to do.

"Why the hell are you making me stand in the rai-?" Rayna pleaded, only to be interrupted by Deacon pulling her into his arms before he kissed her single-mindedly.

Flailing, it took Rayna a moment to realise what was happening. She suddenly forgot what she had been groaning about and stepped on his feet in an attempt to get closer. Desperate not to lose the fire that he had awoken within her body she ran her fingers down his back as he wrapped his hands tighter around her waist, kissing her again. They became a gallery of wandering hands and overwhelming desire as they lost themselves in the sound of the rain and the shadows that fell around them. Deacon pulled away and rested his forehead on hers.

"Rayna." He whispered. Breathless and flushed, she smiled when she heard her name. "I know it's not the best time…but there's never a best time…I'm done with waiting till tomorrow when we think it might be right…and I know you are too, your eyes are telling me that you want this…Ray, I don't want to waste another day…I want you."

Rayna went cold in his arms, her memory refusing to let her give in to opening her heart like she so desperately wanted to. Teddy's words stung her insides as she began to shake. _I have nothing to lose anymore. Deacon deserves to know the truth. You tell him, or I will. _

"You shouldn't want me." Rayna choked, untangling herself from him.

"What? Where were you just now? Didn't you hear-"

"-I heard you."

"Then what are you talking about?" Deacon asked, following her eyes as he tried to understand.

"Deacon…you really don't want me." She whispered shakily, preparing herself for what was to come.

"Rayna I lov-" He pushed, reaching for her hands.

"-How can you say that?..." She choked, looking away from his eyes.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Deacon you can't say that because you're gonna hate me." She cried, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Why would I?...I'm not gonna hate you."

"Yes you will." She shrieked, shaking as the cold began to sit on her skin.

"Ray you're kinda not making sense…just tell me what's going on." He begged, grabbing her arms to steady her fidgeting. Rayna slowly brushed his hands off her arms and let out a long sigh as she nervously fiddled with her fingers.

"Twelve years ago I had a daughter." She began timidly, tears running down her face.

"Maddie." Deacon patiently nodded, confused as to where she was going with this conversation. In the silence, he reached out and grabbed her hand to encourage her to continue.

"Except the day she was born…her Father wasn't there to meet her." She whispered, forcing herself to look at him. Deacon turned white, his hand wavering as he held hers.

"Teddy isn't Maddie's Father…Deacon it's you." She cried, unable to breathe properly as she covered her mouth with her trembling hands. Stone cold, Deacon looked straight though her, his mind screaming for answers as he tried to piece together what she had said. Rayna searched his face, but the guilt that filled her and the understanding that she had caused him more pain then he ever deserved was too much to swallow. She let go off his hand, stepping backwards. Deacon's eyes flashed in her direction, terribly aware that she moving away from him.

"I'm…I'm so…I'm sorry." She said whispered before turning on her heel to run away.

Weeping loudly as she ran, Rayna let the cries she has stifled escape now that he was out of earshot. Running her hands over her face, she swore as she felt the sting of the rain attack her already tear-filled eyes. She didn't even realise she was speaking until the words themselves came out. "I told you that you'd hate me."


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

"Rayna…open the door!" Deacon insisted, banging as he spoke. When the door stood firmly shut he turned around and took a swing at the wall, furiously running his hands through his hair as he began to pace. Deacon looked down and swore. Dripping from head to toe, the weight of his clothing clung to his skin, irritating him as the piercing cold restricted his stride.

"Rayna?!" He called as her stood outside her door, water slowly forming a puddle at his feet. Nothing happened, no doors opened, no signs of movement, just him alone in the empty corridor. Anger replaced the concern he had been feeling, overtaking his ability to cope with the silence. Unconsciously he slowly started to back away from the door, hoping that she would open it.

"If you don't want to talk to me Rayna fine…But I'm here wanting to talk…so the least you could do is open the door…!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. The door remained closed still.

"Fine have it your way!" He yelled, storming down the corridor towards the elevator.

**- NASHVILLE -**

**2 days later…**

Noisily her shoes clicked against the concrete as she ran through the passageway backstage at the arena. Juliette was late for the team meeting to discuss the logistics of the San Diego show. Crashing through Rayna's dressing room door she made quite the entrance, fumbling over her feet as she tried to straighten her jacket.

"Hey! Sorry I'm lat-" She cheerily began, stopping herself when she felt the overwhelming tension in the room.

Juliette searched for Liam, hoping that he might explain what she had missed. Wide-eyed, Liam slowly shook his head as he subtly motioned in Deacon and Rayna's direction. Juliette let her gaze pass over Bucky and Glenn, fixing her eyes on what Liam had pointed at. Both Deacon and Rayna sat silent and cross-armed on the same lounge, a good space apart. When Juliette looked closer she noticed there was more than distance between them, there was a cold and detached strain that she had never seen before. She would have thought about it longer but she had jumped when Glenn cleared his throat. Reluctantly moving, Juliette took a seat next to Liam.

"What'd I miss?"

"Well like we've just discussed, you're going on first tonight so your sound check is set for 3pm…Rayna's sound check will be at 5." Glenn offered, looking at Bucky for support. "Is that ok Rayna?"

"Hmm?"

"Sound check at 5pm?"

"Yeah, that's fine Buck. Is that all?" Rayna replied, paying the conversation little attention.

"Is everything ok…here?" Bucky asked, looking around at everybody as his fingers played with his phone.

"What do you mean?" Rayna answered, looking at him questioningly.

"He means is everything ok _here_." Liam interrupted, motioning loosely between Deacon and Rayna before he crossed his arms. Rayna's eyes shot in his direction, furious that he had voiced the obvious.

"Everything's fine thank you for asking." She replied unconvincingly, gritting her teeth as she forced a smile. Deacon shook his head, letting out a low laugh as he wiped his hands over his face. Rayna ignored him, pursing her lips together as she looked at the others.

"Everything's fine. Really? Is that what we're calling it?" Deacon asked, staring at Rayna as he waited for an answer.

"Yeah, that's what we're calling it." She replied sharply, looking in his direction. Deacon clenched his jaw, watching her closely as she spoke. "Unless you have any other ideas?"

"Not lying to everyone would be a good start." He replied, immediately ashamed that he had said it. Rayna's eyes darted away from his when he spoke.

"Sometimes people lie because the truth will hurt and do more harm than good…sometimes you don't have a choice."

"There's always a choic-" Deacon said flatly.

"-Alright, I've gotta send off numbers to the caterers for lunch so..." Bucky interrupted, sensing that the conversation between Rayna and Deacon was one that they needed to have behind closed doors.

"I'm not hungry." Rayna replied, averting people's eyes as she tried to pull herself together.

"Neither am I." Deacon answered, irritably shifting on the lounge.

"Well I am!" Juliette smiled, shooting Liam a bemused look as they silently exchanged their thoughts about the awkward tension in the room.

"I could go for food right now too." Liam replied, matching her sunny tone as they tried to ignore the uneasiness.

In one swift movement both Deacon and Rayna stood up, crashing into each other as they headed for the door. Clumsily, they silently sidestepped and dodged one another before finally exiting in different directions. Everyone who had been left in the room sat still, deciphering what they had just seen.

"Ok, what the hell was that?" Juliette asked, turning to Bucky for answers.

Bucky shrugged. "I have no idea."

"I thought they were like _together_ now?" Juliette questioned, staring at the empty lounge where they had sat.

"Did _that_ really look like they were together to you?" Liam asked.

"Hey! You saw the way they were last week just like I did…asking if they're together is a completely logical thing to say." She defended.

"Whatever they had going on last week is clearly not what they had going on today."

"Well they better sort it out because I don't wanna be dealing with a brooding guitarist tonight...I'm not in the mood." Juliette answered as she stood.

"Good luck with that. I having a feeling this may go on for a while." Liam laughed, making his way out the door.

**- NASHVILLE -**

Sitting in a chair looking at the mirror, Rayna watched her stylists move back and forth as they tugged at her hair and retouched her make up. Shifting her gaze, Rayna looked at herself. Her eyes were tired and her face was deeply burdened with signs of sleeplessness. She mused over the fact that no amount of make up would cover the emotional wreck she had become inside.

Replaying the last few days in her head, Rayna cringed. How had they even gotten here? After her rainy night confession, she had expected distance and a long period of silence. She hadn't expected Deacon to immediately chase after her but he had, sending her into a hysterical state. While he had hammered and pleaded her to let him in, she had sunk into a trembling heap against the other side of the door as she forced herself to silently listen. Guilt and self-loathing stopped her from letting him in, leaving her to cry alone when she heard him walk away.

The next morning Rayna had woken, aching and desperate to put things right with Deacon. As she tied her hair in a loose bun, Rayna found herself heading out the front door. She began to look for him, wandering different floors of the hotel until she saw him walking through the main entrance of the lobby. Rayna nervously waved but Deacon offered her hostility in return, stepping straight past her into the elevator. Dazed and shattered, Rayna had numbly returned to her room and climbed under her bedcovers, determined to shut out last night's memories and the emptiness that now weighed on her heavily within. How they would get past this, Rayna didn't know. He needed space, time to breathe and separate himself from the mess they'd created, but the thought of losing him altogether was too much to bear.

"Rayna?! Are you with us?" Bucky asked, clicking in her face as he tried to get her attention.

"What kind of question is that?" She replied, irritated that she had been jolted from her reveries.

"Are you ok Ray?" He asked, glancing at her stylists hovering behind her. "Could you leave us please?"

Numbly, Rayna watched them exit as she fiddled with her fingers. "What is going on?"

"I'm fine…nothing's going on." She choked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Can you try that again and at least pretend that you mean it?" Bucky replied, looking over her shoulder at her in the mirror. Avoiding his gaze, Rayna's eyes fell to the ground. "Rayna, is this about Deacon?"

"What makes you thin-?" She started only to be interrupted by her cell phone. As she answered it, Bucky watched her closely.

"Hello?"

"Rayna."

"Daddy." She said flatly, her face turning white as she steadied herself in her seat.

"How are you?"

"Save the small talk for someone who cares. Daddy, you and I both know you're not calling to ask me how my days been. What do you want? I'm kind of busy."

"I'm calling to ask you to come home, you're daughters need you, your husban-"

"-I think you're forgetting that Teddy and I aren't really together anymore." She interrupted, looking at Bucky.

"Don't be ridiculous. Every marriage has its fair share of ups and downs. You aren't the exception Rayna. Pull it together and at least consider getting on a plane and coming home."

"Consider it? Consider it? Are you kidding me? Where have you been this last month? Have you not seen the tabloids? My marriage is over. It is so over..." She exclaimed, livid at his comments.

"So you clearly think you can go this alone then?" Lamar spun, delight creeping into his voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"You really think that Deacon will stay with you once he finds out about Madd-?"

"-I swear if you keep bringing my daughter, _your granddaughter_ into this twisted game...you will be sorry." She replied angrily, griping the arm of the seat.

"No need to get defensive. Clearly, I've struck a nerve."

"Are you calling just to harass me now or do you have something useful to say?" She asked, brushing a hand through her hair.

"When it all comes out, be prepared. Rayna you're fooling yourself if you think that Deacon will stay around…he's never been the kind of-"

"-You don't know the first thing about him."

"I know that-" Lamar started.

"-Look this really isn't the time. I'm about to go on stage. I've gotta go. Ok. Bye now." She replied, ending the call as she threw her phone angrily on the dressing room counter.

"What was that about?" Bucky asked, looking at her with apprehension.

"Just Daddy being Daddy." She laughed, trying to hide her trembling.

"Why was Lamar asking questions about Deacon? This is what it's about isn't it? Deacon?" He tried, hoping that Rayna would be honest with him.

"Right now, I can't even talk about him…because if I do I'm gonna fall apart." She whispered, wiping her eyes as tears began to fall. "And I can't fall apart right now."

Interrupted by a knock on the door, Rayna and Bucky fell silent. "You're on in 5 Ms Jaymes." They both awkwardly smiled in unison.

"We're not done talking about this." Bucky squeezed her arm reassuringly before making his way out. "I'll meet you out there."

Rayna nodded at him before looking at her reflection in the mirror as she gripped the counter. She began to steady her breathing as she collected herself. Hesitantly she practised smiling and hated the result. Rayna swore, running her hands through her hair as she looked at herself closely. Stepping back, she forced herself to smile again and faintly whispered. "I can't fall apart right now."

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Yeah! San Diego! Y'all just too kind is what you are!" Rayna shouted over the screaming and applause. Catching Liam's attention, Rayna signalled him to count the band in for the next song. Instantly a symphony of sound engulfed the stage, stirring shouts of approval from the audience. Rayna smiled and began to sing.

"Wish that I didn't have to see a confidant as an enemy. Count on lies and the lines you cross, helplessly I can only watch."

Looking out into the sea of flashing lights and glowing cell phones, Rayna's head began to spin with thoughts of Deacon and the conversation with her Father. Gulping, Rayna continued.

''Dodging words as they ricochet, honesty that'll never pay. Your convictions I believe, like an apparition haunting me.''

Rayna began to sway unsteadily, shying away from centre stage as she became overwhelmed with emotion. Her Father couldn't be right could he? Memories of Deacon cruelly exposed themselves, making her shiver. His touch, the rehearsals, the elevator, the kiss in the rain, the way he looked at her when she finally told him the truth. Maybe Deacon had had his fill of her, maybe this was it and they were through. Choking on her breath, Rayna looked out into the arena, letting the music fade into the background as she stood soundlessly.

**- NASHVILLE - **

"Come on?!" Bucky cried, pacing as he watched Rayna, frozen on the stage. Some of the crew and stagehands that had been busily running back and forth were now gathered around Bucky, all consumed with should bes and could bes about what would happen.

"Keep playing!" He mouthed to Liam who had sought out his attention; alarmed that Rayna had stopped singing. Liam nodded, signalling to the band to take his lead as they began to improvise.

"What the hell is she doing?" Juliette asked, walking up to Bucky. "You need to do something!"

"I'm working on it!"

"Well hurry up!"

"Move!" Deacon called, pushing past the wall of onlookers to get to the sound tech that stood next to Bucky. Pulling the strap for his guitar over his head, Deacon scrambled to pick up a power pack as he began to connect wires and cords. "Hook me up."

"Deacon you cannot be serious? How the hell is it gonna look if you go out there and play for Rayna when you are in my band?" Juliette demanded, stepping between him and his access to the stage.

Deacon shook his head. "I don't see you picking up a microphone to go out there and help her anytime soon."

"Deacon!"

"Something's wrong Juliette and I am not about to stand around and leave her out there alone."

"She's not alone, she has a whole band…Bucky's handling it." Juliette insisted, crossing her arms. He shot her a sceptical look.

"You and I both know that she doesn't need that band right now." Deacon replied adamantly, sidestepping her when the sound tech gave him the all clear to move.

"Fine." She breathed, watching him walk out into the blinding stage lights.

**- NASHVILLE - **

"Ray…Rayna!"

Rayna snapped her head in the direction of the voice calling her name, reality crashing back in as she became aware of her surroundings. The sound of screaming and applause, the music and the lights up above reminded her where she was, causing her to panic.

"Deacon?" She whispered, her bottom lip trembling as she watched him slowly ease onto the stage, strumming along to the band's improvised instrumental.

Deacon shook his head and mouthed. "Don't cry…focus…just look at me."

Rayna gripped her microphone tightly, not taking her eyes off him as he moved closer to centre stage. Deacon nodded in Liam's direction and the band cut the instrumental to follow him.

"Now the truth is a ball and chain..." He sung over the music to guide her, nodding to hands to get her to move the microphone to her mouth to sing.

"Holding my conscience to the flame." She followed, stepping towards him as she nervously sang. "Covered up, but still I know the secret of the life you guilty of."

Comforted by his presence, Rayna let herself smile as she kept her eyes fixed on Deacon. "The smoking gun is what I've found. The dirt I have on you is the ground."

Throwing her hand up in the air, she sung to the arena. "Oohh, I'm buried under."

They made it through the two final songs without a hitch and Juliette joined them all on the stage for the finale. 'Wrong Song' had become the highlight of every show, tonight being no exception. When the final chord was played the arena went into an uproar, pleading them for more. Breathless and smiling, Rayna, Juliette and the band bowed, letting the applause and screams throughout the arena drown everything else out.

"Thank y'all so much! We love you San Diego!" Rayna shouted, waving as they all stepped back from the edge of the stage. Looking out of the corner of her eye Rayna saw Deacon quietly sneaking off stage. Impulsively she smiled and waved one last time before quickly following him.

"Hey!" She called, bounding down the stairs. Deacon ignored her. Rayna grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. "Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Now you want to talk?" He replied coldly, avoiding her gaze.

"Are you mad at me? I thought that-"

"-There was no way I was gonna to leave you up there by yourself tonight…that doesn't mean everything else is ok though."

"Deacon-"

"-Look Ray, I get that you're upset and I know that lying to me killed you, believe me I know that. But you choosing how we were supposed to deal with all of this _isn't_ just you're decision to make, its _mine_ too."

"I know, I-" She whispered, letting go of his arm.

"-I'm glad you know, because I was starting to think that you weren't considering me in any of this."

"What are you saying?" Rayna choked, her voice trembling.

"Right now, I'm saying I can't do this."

"Deacon." She tried, looking up into his face as she reached for his hand.

"Ray, I know your hurting…did you even think that maybe I was too?" He replied faintly, his voice wavering as he squeezed her hand before letting it go. Deacon shoved his hands in his pockets, lowering his head as he tried to hide the stinging haze that was consuming his eyes.

Rayna stood numbly as she watched him walk away. Her resolve turned on her, leaving tears to fall in its place. Hugging herself as she made her way in the direction of her dressing room, she struggled to ignore the overwhelming hopelessness and fear that was creeping under her skin.

"This is all my fault."


	17. Chapter 17

**TO ALL WHO ARE STILL READING AS WE SLOWLY COME TO THE HOME STRETCH...Thank you thank you thank you for your kind words and comments...I have honestly felt like I haven't written this alone...it is as if we have sat around a lounge room all sharing our loves and hates, our hopes and all that lies in between. Without you it would be twice as hard to have written all that I have, so thank you again...**

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**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**A Day Later…**

"Whoa…Rayna? Do you know what time it is?" Liam called, looking at his cell phone as he stepped out of the elevator. Rayna sat huddled on the floor next to his hotel door in the low-lit corridor. She looked up at him, her eyes red and face tear streaked. "When you called earlier to say you needed someone to talk to, I thought it meant-" He began, cutting himself off when he realised she wasn't listening to him. Hesitantly he slid down the wall to sit next to her, watching her curiously.

"I'm sorry, It's just…I had no one else to talk to." She whispered, hiding her face in her knees.

"Ok." He replied, intrigued that she had chosen to come to him.

"How is it that I have managed to screw everything up so badly?"

"If we're gonna _talk_, you _might_ need to maybe fill me in on what you're talking about."

Rayna shook her head hastily.

"Fine. You're crying, you look like death and you're coming to me for advice…_so_ I'm thinking this has something to do with Deacon?" He questioned, staring in her direction as he waited for a reply. Rayna nodded, resting her head against the wall.

"This is all my fault…He's never gonna speak to me again and it's all my fault."

"I doubt that Rayna."

"You didn't see the way he looked at me last night…I've hurt him and he doesn't deserve it. Why would he speak to me?...Hell I wouldn't even speak to me." She replied bitterly, banging her head on the wall as she said the last word. "I'd hate me if I was Deacon."

"I can promise you that he _doesn't_ hate you." He said corrected, watching Rayna shake her head in disagreement.

"Can you?" She asked angrily, shocked by the force in her voice. "Because I can't."

"Hey, I'm not the enemy." Liam retorted, throwing his hands up in surrender. Rayna apologised, wiping her hands over her face.

"Not once in the last twelve years have things felt as over between us as they do now and-" She whispered, tears falling again.

"-Ok, you need to stop." He demanded, straightening his posture. Rayna looked up at him with confusion written all over her face. "Stop the wallowing…you're not gonna get anywhere if you keep thinking about what you've done to him, what he's done to you and whatever else you're punishing yourself for."

Rayna unthinkingly began to wipe her tears away as she numbly waited to hear what he would say next.

"Rayna, what do you actually want?" He asked, shifting his position so he could look at her better. Thrown by his question, she remained silent. "I know that you know what you already want…you're just too proud to say it."

"I'm not too-"

"-Ok, that there is something people like to call denial." He interrupted, pointing at her as he spoke. Rayna sniffed, accepting defeat.

"I don't want it to be over." She whispered, her eyes looking hopelessly into his. "I just want Deacon."

"Well if that's what you want, why are you still sitting here outside my door?" Liam asked impatiently.

"I feel like I'm losing everything…I…I can't lose him too." She replied, resting her head on her hands as she looked at him and ignored his comment.

"You will lose him if you don't get off your ass and go talk to him." He pushed. Rayna fought his comment, shaking her head unconvincingly. "He does know how you feel about him doesn't he?"

"I don't know, I guess he does." She answered reluctantly, shifting her position.

"You guess he does?"

"Why are getting mad at me, asking all these questions?" She deflected, frustration in her eyes.

"How is it fair to either of you if you've never told him how you feel about him? No wonder your both not talking to each other. I can understand his frustration, really I can." He countered, crossing his arms in feigned disappointment.

"There's a lot more to it then that."

"From where I'm sitting…there kind of isn't."

"What if he doesn't want to listen to what I have to sa-?" She asked, anxiety creeping into her voice.

"-Rayna something can't be over if the other person doesn't know that it was even starting." He replied, watching her sit tight-lipped. "If you want Deacon as much as I know you do, then you need to trust that he wants you too…regardless of whatever you've both done to screw things up lately." Liam assured, squeezing her knee as he spoke. "How can you not see that?"

"Never had you pegged as a romantic." She laughed weakly as she looked at the seriousness on his face.

"I know, I've been told that before." He smiled, searching her eyes as he tried to figure out what she was thinking. Rayna exhaled heavily as she stood. She sidestepped, misjudging the speed of her movements. Liam laughed brashly.

"Where are you going?" He asked, already knowing the answer to his own question as he watched her walk away.

"You know where I'm going."

"So this bottle of whiskey…I guess I'm drinking it alone?" He called, smiling when she turned around.

"I didn't know you had whiskey."  
"I always have whiskey."

"Bye Liam."

**- NASHVILLE - **

Standing uneasily in an elevator in the early hours of the morning, Rayna was beyond edgy. She had looked for Deacon everywhere, he hadn't replied to her messages and no one she came across could tell her if they'd seen him. Rayna had even gone as far as to pace back and forth out of sight on Juliette's penthouse floor because she thought Deacon had been writing music with her. Giving up, she had finally resorted to riding the elevator in the small hope that Deacon would eventually have to use it. Ungluing her eyes from her cell phone when the elevator doors rattled open, Rayna's heart fell through the floor. By the look on Deacon's face he felt exactly the same way.

"Hi." She choked, eyes wide as he stood next to her and pressed the button for his floor.

"Hi." He replied, looking straight ahead.

"Deacon, I think we need to talk." She whispered, shoving her cell phone into her pocket. Remaining silent, Deacon looked at her loosely before looking at the ground. Rayna nervously twirled her hair, her eyes shooting up when he suddenly stepped out of the elevator. Instinctively she ran after him, following as he walked towards his hotel room.

"Deacon…Deacon?!" She hissed, looking around as she spoke. "Can you hold up for just a second?!"

He fumbled with his key card and opened the door, ignoring her as she spoke. Stepping inside, Deacon went to close the door. Rayna slammed her weight against it, stopping him.

"Don't slam the door in my face…I…I just want to talk." She pleaded, hoping that he would listen to her.

Cautiously she felt the pressure on the door relax and she stumbled into the hotel room after him. Rayna nervously took in her surrounding as she watched him flip the light switch. He walked over and threw his key card and cell phone on a table not far from the unmade queen-sized bed in the middle of the room. Clothes, sheet music and empty plates and cups lay around the room, making her smile as she recalled the many times over the years that she had found his room in this kind of disorderly state. Self-consciously she stopped looking when she felt his eyes studying her.

"So..." She whispered, avoiding his gaze as she leant against the wall closest to the door. She was still unsure whether to move any further into the room, especially after his unwarm welcome.

"So…" He mimicked, leaning against a chair next to the table.

"Can we skip the awkward silence and just talk? Not just me, but us…can _we_ talk? Yell at me, anything I don't care…whatever, as long as I don't have to have this conversation by myself." She scrabbled with her words, searching his eyes as she controlled the shakiness in her voice.

"Would you have told me about Maddie if y'all hadn't got divorced?" He asked. Rayna froze. Out of all the ways she had imagined this conversation to begin, this had not been one of them.

"I don't know." She replied honestly, saying each word slowly. Deacon nodded, looking away from her as he absorbed what she'd said.

"Why did you tell me then? Why now?"

"Because I couldn't lie to you…not anymore...I hated that you didn't know, especially since we were you know…" She replied, stopping short before changing tracks. "Deacon please believe me when I say I care-" She countered, matching his volume.

"-It's not like you haven't hurt me before, how is lying any differ-?" He replied.

"-And you've never hurt me?"

"Ray, we're talking about a child…our child."

"And I'm talking about us, you and I…that's just as important. What about us Deacon?" She reacted, stomping her foot in frustration.

"Just as import-?" Deacon asked, looking up at her.

"-You think I didn't tell you because I wanted to hurt you, seriously? All I ever think about is you and I. Have you really forgotten all we've been through? I've had to drag you unconscious out of hotels just like this...Remember?...I would make myself sick while I waited in emergency rooms hoping that you were still alive…And what about the times you promised me it would all be ok?...I _never_ lost faith in you…I just lost myself in the middle of it all." She choked, tears running down her face. Rayna exhaled and looked up at Deacon to see if he was still listening to her. He stood motionless.

"I couldn't keep believing that you'd be ok because every time I did and things got bad, it took a piece of me...it took pieces until I didn't know who I was anymore…Moving on was the hardest thing I've ever had to do…and it hurts today as much as it did back then…I've lived with that decision every single day…" She replied, watching him closely. Deacon remained wordless still.

"Deacon, I didn't tell you about Maddie because I was protecting both of us-"

"-I'm sorry." He whispered, shame flooding his face as he listened to her and took a step forward.

"Its ok-"

"-No it's not. Ray, I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. Maybe this isn't a good idea…maybe we should just leave whatever this and move on…" He interrupted, his words stinging his insides as he stopped her attempts to justify his actions. "I'm gonna see Juliette tomorrow and tell her I'm resigning…you don't need me around her-"

Horror filled Rayna's body as she began to comprehend what he was saying. She couldn't lose him, not again. She refused to make the mistake of letting Deacon walk away from her when his eyes said something entirely different. Rayna wasn't going to let their history and her stupid miscommunication settle something it had no right to. She just wanted him; it had always been Deacon. He had always been the one she wanted to keep close, the one who held her love. She couldn't believe it had taken him wanting to call the whole thing off for her to see it clearly. Courageously she willed her tongue to speak the things it had held on to for longer than it had deserved.

"-I won't leave it." She blurted out, stopping him midsentence as he looked at her brave expression. Rayna took a step towards him. "Not too long ago you asked me what I wanted and I-"

"-Ray you don't hav-" He interfered, shaking his head.

"-Deacon I didn't come here to say goodbye so would you just shush it...I came because I never told you what I should have said."

Deacon stood silently, his expression softening at her stubbornness and changing tone.

"I don't care if we've screwed everything up…I just need you to hear me…We both want the same thing…the one thing I have fought so long. I thought it was wrong but Deacon out of everything I've ever known, you're the only certain one." She said matter-of-factly as she searched his face. "You're not the only one who wants more than elevators and pretending. I want more then waiting, I want more than sleepless nights wondering if you think about me too and I sure as hell don't want goodbye." She said boldly, taking another step as she spoke. "I just want you."

Moving nearer still, Rayna's hands trembled as she reached for his and looked up at him. Deacon changed his position, trying to convince himself to let go of her and back away. More than anything he wanted to pull her into his arms and feel her close against his chest but he was afraid that this was some cruel play on his mind. He had waited so long for Rayna to reciprocate the notions and emotions he knew they both felt for one another that he'd forgotten what it was like to let his heart sit wide open. The thought that that time was finally here terrified him, all this time he'd been broken and now she was finally offering him a way out by giving him her love again. Deacon looked into her eyes, his hands shaking as her gaze tore down the walls he'd built to protect his heavy heart. Rayna stepped closer and he had little motivation to refuse her any longer, he was through with fighting his reservations.

"You are the one I want." She whispered as she rested her palms against his chest, the air changing between them as they lingered in the stillness, breathing one another's air. Deacon shuddered, rigid at her touch. Ignoring him, Rayna carefully wrapped her arms around his neck as she deliberately looked into his eyes. The blaze ignited within her body burned intensely as she stood so close to him and that was enough for Deacon's resolve to come crashing down.

Impulsively Deacon responded, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist as he pulled her into the kiss they had both ached for and rehearsed over in their heads many times before. Rayna sighed at the initial contact, her greatest imaginings not doing the moment justice. Her balance wavering as her body reacted to his, hands trailing up and down his back as the kiss deepened. Deacon steadied her as he pulled her closer to himself. In a place of their own, they spun around; intertwined in reacquainting themselves with the things they had loved most about one another. Shutting out the world, they let their hearts lead the way as he guided them backwards towards the bed. The fire in his eyes both terrified and excited her; they had both thought about this moment many times before. Lightly, Rayna touched his face, looking knowingly into his eyes. Before she had time to react, Deacon's mouth crashed against hers as he pulled her down with him. Rayna giggled, toppling onto him as their hands and lips became a sea of frenzied chaos, passion and desire running free as they embraced one another again. Wrapping her legs around his waist as he shifted their position, Rayna pulled him on top of her and kissed him passionately. Hastily, her fingers moved to pull his shirt off and he obliged, taking the shirt out of her hands and throwing it aimlessly into the air. Rayna reached for his belt buckle and Deacon laughed at her impatience, leaning back on his knees to look at her fully. Frustrated, Rayna propped herself up on her elbows as she lay beneath him. Blowing a strand of dishevelled hair out of her eyes, she studied his expression.

"What?" She asked irritably, narrowing her eyes as she struggled to figure him out.

Deacon smirked, his fingers slowly and playfully unbuttoning her blouse. She blushed, her eyes wide at his bold advance. Rayna's elbows gave way as he began to lean closer to her, sending her flat on her back as she anticipated his next move. Chest to chest, Deacon smiled as he whispered into her ear.

"I have missed this."


	18. Chapter 18

**NB: Here we are...the final chapter...I apologise a hundred times over for those who have waited a long time for this chapter. It was never my intention for it to take this long to publish..but in between my travels and quiet time I wasn't entirely happy with it so that is why it has taken so long...OK, SECONDLY...IF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT I INCORPORATED INTO CHAPTER THREE I SUGGEST YOU LISTEN TO IT WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART WHERE DEACON AND RAYNA SING TOGETHER BECAUSE IT WILL GIVE YOU AN EVEN FULLER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT I SEE WHEN I READ THIS CHAPTER...If you've forgotten, the song is "THE LIGHT IN ME" - Ingrid Michaelson & Greg Laswell (Youtube it)...Enjoy.**

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**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

Morning crept up on them casting shadows over the bed as they lay side-by-side, both entangled in sheets. Waking up, Deacon rubbed his face as his eyes adjusted and took in his surroundings. He smiled, quietly propping himself up as he changed his position to face Rayna's motionless figure. To him she was beautiful in her resting state. Her hair freely fell over her face as she lay on her front, arms tucked under her pillow. In the stillness he looked at her in wonder, slowly taking in each of her features. After all these years Rayna Jaymes still managed to make him every kind of nervous but also every bit certain that she was the only one he wanted. Caught in the moment, Deacon reached out his fingers and gently brushed a loose strand of hair off her cheek. Rayna stirred, groaning as she slowly stretched her legs and willed her eyes to open. Deacon watched her, smiling affectionately as she continued to wake.

"Quit staring at me." She whispered shyly, blushing when she realised she had an audience. Deacon grinned, lowering himself down so that they now lay face to face.

"Good morning." He whispered, smiling brightly as he looked into her eyes.

"Good morning." She giggled, tangling her hands further in the sheets to warm herself as she shifted her body to face his.

Suggestively, Deacon tugged at the sheets dutifully surrounding Rayna, pulling her closer to him so that they now lay chest to chest. His feet found hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist and Rayna instinctively intertwined her legs with his, smiling at the closer connection. Deacon leant in to capture her lips but she started let out a soft laugh, shaking the mood as he held her in his arms.

"What?" He asked, leaning away from her so he could see her face.

"You…your breath smells _really_ bad." She teased, her fingers brushing against his chin as she grinned.

Deacon looked at her sceptically and exhaled into his hand, clearing his throat when he smelt what she had. Rayna laughed louder as she watched him.

"Not as bad as yours." He replied, looking at her brightly as his fingers brushed her lips. Rayna's eyes shot up in his direction, horror flooding her face as she fumbled to see if he was telling the truth. Deacon smirked when she groaned and covered her mouth quickly. Abruptly releasing herself from his hold, Rayna went to leave the bed to get to the bathroom but Deacon's hands caught her, pulling her back against himself.

"Don't go." He whispered into her ear, wrapping his arms around her waist as she leant back into him reluctantly.

"So this doesn't turn you off?" She chuckled, gesturing to her mouth. "Because it sure as hell isn't doing anything good for me."

"Ray you are the last thing that turns me off, bad breath or not…trust me."

Whinging, Rayna smiled as he rested his chin on her shoulder. His breath sat hot on her neck and reflexively she silenced her tongue and lay still, anticipating his next move. Deacon smirked and slowly began to let his hands wander, proving to her that there was truth in his words as she squirmed under his fingers that teased relentlessly. Rayna wanted him and she was barely coping when he let her see that he wanted her too.

For so long she thought she needed to protect her heart and mind from him in order to find out how to live again, but the longer she considered it the less she believed it to be true. As he held her close Rayna realised that she had never felt more alive then she did right now. Tangled together in the sheets, they lay in a place of their own where her heart had finally been flung open with nothing to hide from him, all the pieces finally coming together. Deacon had always known her better then she knew herself, taking, holding and loving every part of her regardless of distance and time. He had let love wait while giving it space until the time was right. Without warning he had pushed at her walls, striking the chords in her nobody else knew how to play until she realised at the end of it all, she wanted nothing more than him. Rayna blushed, reluctantly freeing herself from his travelling fingers as she turned around to face him.

"Hey." She said softly. Deacon smiled, looking down at her as she spoke. "I wasn't kidding last night…this is what I want…this…" She motioned between them. "You are the one I want."

"I know you want me Ray…I mean, come on….last night you made that _pretty _obvi-" He said cheekily, cocking an eyebrow as his hands made loose circles on her lower back.

"-I'm serious." She giggled, fighting the urge to lean closer to him.

"So am I-."

"-Deacon."

"Rayna." He mocked her tone; enjoying the fact that they seemed to be arguing about nothing in particular.

"I'm trying to be serious and you're not really helping my cause." She replied impatiently, making them both laugh.

"You want serious? Ok here it is." He teased before taking on a straight tone. "I haven't got like poetry prepared or anything so you're just gonna have to let my words do."

Rayna nodded, smile wide as she bit her nails and watched him.

"I've wanted you, wanted this for longer then I'd ever let you know...I tried to forget, to move on…to ignore it but the more I did the harder it got." He began, gently brushing his fingers over her bare shoulder as he recalled the words he'd kept locked within so tightly. He paused ever so slightly, her eyes encouraging him to continue. "When you love someone…really love them, no matter what has happened, what you've been through, good or not…loving that person will always be the place where you belong." He whispered slowly, emphasising each word before bringing his hands up to hold her face. "Rayna Jaymes…I belong to you."

Rayna couldn't hide the smile on her face when those last words left his lips. Her greatest imaginings couldn't have prepared her for what he'd said. She felt every kind of emotion rush through her, overflowing into her disposition as she lay next to him.

"And I…belong to you." She whispered, sliding her arms around his neck as she moved closer.

The air changed as he looked knowingly into her eyes, his lips meeting hers purposefully as he moved to hover above her. Rayna groaned when his mouth travelled downward to her neck, kissing her softly. She ran her hands through his hair and Deacon smiled as he felt her squirm beneath his steady hands, exploring her every feature from head to toe. Unexpectedly Rayna took him off guard, flipping herself on top of him as she leant in and kissed him passionately. He responded immediately, pulling her closer as they let their hands and mouths lead them. A shrieking sound pierced the air, bringing both Deacon and Rayna to an abrupt halt.

"That's mine." She muttered, rolling off him and onto the floor, taking the sheet with her as she searched for her cell phone under discarded clothes and blankets.

"Come on!" Deacon complained. "Leave it."

"I can't. What if it's the girls? Hell, what if it's Bucky."

"But we were in the middle of…seriously?"

"Deaco-" She laughed, throwing clothes around.

"-It's 6am Ray...6am. Who the hell calls at this time?"

Rayna looked up at him and smirked as she found and answered the phone. "Hello."

Deacon shook his head in frustration, falling back into the bed as he listened to her speak.

"You're calling me to ask me how I am? You know what time it is right?" She asked sceptically as she tried to get Deacon's eye contact. He looked at her quizzically and she covered the phone with her hand and mouthed who it was on the other end of the line. "Liam."

Deacon shook his head and told her to hang up. She held up a hand, ignoring his request as she wrapped the sheet around herself and turned her back to him.

Grinning, Deacon saw this as a signal to provide her with incentive to end the phone call. He made his way slowly off the bed and slid up behind her, pulling Rayna firmly against himself as he began to whisper in her ear. Rayna stifled a shriek, whacking Deacon as she desperately trying to focus on the phone call. Deacon smiled with great satisfaction.

"You know what I'm thinking about?" Deacon murmured against her neck. Rayna shuddered, her body reacting to his touch.

"Mmhmm…I'll be honest when I tell you I haven't really thought about it." Rayna said shortly, replying to Liam as she struggled to remain level headed and in control of her voice.

"It involves you and me." Deacon replied suggestively knowing full well that Rayna wasn't speaking to him.

"If it makes you happy…we can add your song tonight? Shake things up and see how it goes…but just this once." She replied, shaking her head as Deacon fingers ran down her arms. "Just quit calling me so early…why couldn't you have call-"

Deacon kissed her neck and she giggled, holding the phone away from her ear to muffle the sound of their escapades. He wrapped his arms lightly around her waist and began to guide her backwards. Reflexively, Rayna put the cell phone back to her ear.

"Alright, so we'll go over it in rehearsal. I've gotta go. I'll call you later. Ok. Bye." She said quickly, dropping the cell phone as they fell backwards onto the bed. Rayna smiled. "Where were we?"

"You're playing his songs now?" Deacon asked curiously. Rayna looked over at him vacantly as she fumbled for the right words.

"We've been tossing round the idea of incorporating some of his stuff with mine to bring a different soun-" She started.

"-You never played my songs." He interrupted, feigning hurt in his voice.

"Deacon come on...I played _our _songs." She replied, playfully pushing him away from her.

"Seriously…what does he have that I don't?"

"It's just one song." She smiled, secretly excited by the underlying jealousy and possessiveness in his voice.

"One song too many." Deacon muttered.

"Are you jealous of Liam?" She asked sassily, tilting her head as she waited for an answer.

"No." He said shortly, his tone indicating that he was.

"Ok...clearly I've hit a nerve." She nodded. Deacon did a double take and tried to figure out if there was ulterior meaning behind her words, but the way she looked at him was enough to silence any more thoughts.

"Come here." He laughed, pulling her to lie beneath him. Rayna smiled up at him. "Why would I be jealous when I know he doesn't get to do this?"

Deacon leant down and kissed her deeply, tying his tongue with hers as a soft moan escaped from her mouth into his.

"No he doesn't." She replied breathlessly as she pulled away.

Rayna was barely able to smile before his lips met hers again. Before she knew it he had sent them tumbling across the sheets.

**NASHVILLE –**

"I'll be there in 5 Buck." Rayna answered, looking over at Deacon who was tentatively walking next to her, his hands shoved in his pockets as they wandered into the foyer of the arena. "Ok. Bye."

"Sound check already?" He asked. Rayna nodded, frowning at the distance between them. She wanted him to stand closer to her.

After leaving Deacon's hotel room earlier that morning they had agreed that they wanted to keep the careful confessions of last night separate from the world that waited outside. Both Deacon and Rayna were in no mood to share with the world what they had only just come to acknowledge. There was something in keeping that space for themselves that they thought was important, especially when they were only figuring it out for themselves. However, the decision to do this didn't make distance any easier. Rayna just wanted to be close to him but with eyes on them from all directions she resorted to the fact that that wouldn't happen. Still in thought, Rayna let out a sharp gasp when she ran into Deacon who had stopped dead in his tracks. Her Father stood waiting next to her dressing room door.

"Rayna." Lamar greeted, looking up from his cell phone.

"Daddy." She replied shakily, fumbling to change her surprised expression as she felt Deacon tense beside her. "Deacon." Lamar greeted, smiling gleefully in their direction. Deacon nodded, acknowledging his address.

"What are you doing here?" Rayna asked, breaking the silence.

"I came to see my daughter."

"Oh please, you didn't come here to see me, to see if I'm alright. You came to ask me to come home. You came to point out everything I'm doing wrong, criticize my choices and maybe even play the same old mind games you love playing…am I right?" She replied, shocked at the intensity in her response.

"Don't do anything stupid Rayna."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your life seems to be hanging by only a thread…you think that you have it all together but-"

"-Why are you here?" She pushed.

"I'm here because I'm worried about the things you're choos-" Lamar responded, anger rising in his voice.

"-Hey I think you need to hold it right there." Deacon interrupted, instinctively taking a small step in front of Rayna. "Rayna can make her own decisions and I don't see how you think you have a right to be telling her what to do."

"Not meaning to be rude, but this has nothing to do with you." Lamar replied, speaking through his teeth as he glared at Deacon.

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure that every conversation we've had lately seems to be all about Deacon." Rayna replied, her gaze scanning the corridor as people walked past them.

"Hardly." Lamar scoffed, letting out a low laugh. His face changed as a wicked grin spread across his face. "Unless of course it involves little Maddie."

Deacon's demeanour changed, rage engulfing him as he felt Rayna shrink beside him. Without thinking he spoke. "Don't speak to her like that. Hell, try saying Maddie's name again and I swea-"

"-Ok I think we're done." Rayna interfered, wary that this conversation was getting far too heated for simple corridor talk.

"No Ray I'm not done." Deacon replied, ignoring her as he stepped closer to Lamar. "For years now I've put up with this. Your insults, the scoffing, your comments and all that…but today I'm telling you to back off."

"Really?" Lamar taunted, thrusting his hands into his pockets as he matched Deacon's stance.

"I know what you did."

"What I did?"

"You're a real piece of work you know that? Using your granddaughter, using your daughter, your whole family as a part of some game of yours…I've always seen the way you use people and it stops today." Deacon replied, anger fuelling his voice. Lamar raised an eyebrow.

"He knows." Rayna spoke, answering her Father's unasked question. Lamar's eyes shot in her direction.

"As long as I'm here, not you, not anyone is gonna threaten me or Rayna about her decision to hide the truth about Maddie's paternity…It isn't your business or your duty to go round sharing it either." Deacon continued, catching Rayna biting her nails out of the corner of his eye as he spoke. She was nervously smiling at people who were walking by, hiding the weight of the dialogue being exchanged.

"You think I'm the only one you have to worry about? All it will take is an disgruntled person and the tabloids to get a hold of this and-" Lamar began.

"-Media or not, understand this Lamar, you may have gotten rid of me twelve years ago…but I'm here now and I'm not planning on going anywhere." Deacon replied, standing his ground as he and Lamar fought for the upper hand.

"Alright y'all need to stop this." Rayna interjected, pushing into the argument.

"We're done here." Lamar seethed, not breaking eye contact with Deacon as he spoke.

"We're done." Deacon mimicked.

"Ok, well I have a sound check to get to." She replied, hoping to shake the tension, as they remained silent.

"I have a plane to catch." Lamar answered, taking a step backwards as he spoke.

"Bye." She said awkwardly as she watched him walk away.

Suddenly Rayna felt the warmth of Deacon's fingers as he intertwined them with hers. She looked down and smiled weakly.

"What do we do now?" Rayna whispered, watching Lamar turn right at the end of the walkway.

"I'm not going anywhere Ray." He offered.

"Are you sure? I'd be running...especially after that."

"I'm not going anywhere. When are you gonna get that?" He smiled and shook his head; Rayna dropped his hand abruptly as a few people round the corner. "I'm not going anywhere."

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Hey Louisville! How y'all doing?" Rayna asked, adjusting the microphone as she squinted, looking out into the well-lit arena. She laughed at the sea of responses she heard, some genuine and others outrageous. Tonight had been a good show, the audience had been responsive and the band had been tighter than they'd ever been before. Up until this moment she had been able to bundle her nerves up, pushing them out of her mind as she made her way through each song. She knew for sure that Deacon was standing to her right, backstage watching her perform. She could feel his eyes on her and it had comforted her up until this point, now she just felt giddy. Moments before they had walked on stage Rayna had been stuck on what Deacon had said after her Father had left. He had outright told her he wasn't going anywhere and she had stood speechless when she wanted nothing more than to let him see that she wasn't going anywhere either. Before Rayna had time to ask herself what she was doing she'd called her band over and told them that they were making an impromptu change to the setlist.

"I was thinking of doing something a little different tonight, is that ok?" She smiled, rubbing her sweaty palms against her pants as she spoke. Screaming echoed through the stadium and she nodded. "Ok good. Just so y'all know if you'd said no I would have done what I'm about to do anyway."

A stagehand walked onto the stage carrying a Compass Rose Tenor Ukulele, Rayna acknowledged him, pulling the strap for the ukulele over her head after he'd handed it to her.

"Not so long before this tour started a dear friend of mine and I started writing a song." She continued, strumming the ukulele to check the sound in her foldback. "It was one of those late night, caffeine filled and emotional high occasions…Unfortunately, we never really got the time to finish it together, so I…"

The arena became a frenzy of squealing and applause, stopping Rayna mid sentence as she waited for them to let her speak.

"I thought I would finish it for them and share it with you tonight." She smiled, the cheering continuing. "Y'all need to be super kind because this is the first time anyone but my band is hearing this…I'm also new at playing the ukulele so that is enough in itself...this song doesn't have a name yet because my friend and I are yet to discuss the fact that I have hijacked the song…I guess we'll see what he thinks."

The audience laughed and she nervously took a step back from the microphone stand and began to play, creating a steady rhythm with each strum.

"I've tried my hand at silence but it seems I should come clean. When it comes to you and me boy I've avoided saying one thing. It's been there for a while now, this liar will now sing. Till you're mine, till you're mine I'll sing."

**- NASHVILLE -**

Deacon stood open mouthed as he watched Rayna sing. She wasn't singing just any song. She was singing the one song he had showed her all that time ago in the studio, the one he had written about her. The song that she had embraced, adding her own twist to it so that it became their own. He couldn't believe his eyes; she had stopped her set and pulled out a ukulele, trading in the electric guitars and drums for a vulnerable and intimate sound. Before Deacon knew what was happening he was being pushed out onto the stage by the sound tech guy that stood next to him, stagehands cheering him on as he swore in surprise.

"Everybody, please welcome Mr Deacon Claybourne." Rayna shouted, strumming the opening chord again as she watched him tentatively walk on stage, eyes shooting her a hundred and one questions. She smiled, stepping away from the microphone so that she could talk to him.

"Hi."

"Hi." He grinned, taking in his surroundings.

"Apparently I don't play someone's songs nearly as much as I should." She said cheekily over the shouting and squealing of the audience.

"You mean our songs." He corrected, gently squeezing her hand as he stepped forward. Rayna blushed, still keeping the steady rhythm of the song as she played one chord.

"You ok to sing with me?" She asked.

"I think I can manage that."

Rayna nodded, stepping back up to the microphone to quieten the arena down. "Alright y'all, Deacon has kindly agreed to sing this song with me so would you please give him a hand."

Deacon waved and the audience let out shouts and cheers, making everyone on stage smile as they took it all in. Liam walked over to one of the back up singer's microphones and interrupted the moment. "And they're gonna be super cute and sing on the same mic…very Johnny and June if you ask me…so why don't you give them _both_ a hand!"

Rayna and Deacon's eyes shot in his direction and Liam raised his hands in surrender, the cheering and applause drowning out any opportunity for insults. Deacon smirked and Rayna turned to him, counting him in.

"I've tried my hand at silence but it seems I should come clean. When it comes to you and me girl I've avoided saying one thing. It's been there for a while now, this liar will now sing. Till you're mine, till you're mine I'll sing." He sang, looking into her eyes as he followed the steady rhythm of her strumming.

"Oh baby, my baby. You've helped me through many broken hearts. And maybe, just maybe you can fix all my broken parts." She sang, beaming at the audience.

Deacon smiled at her, captivated as she sang. There was no place he would rather be than here with her. He had waited for this day, wanting to walk it well and here it was. He had chosen her and she had chosen him back. Every notion and emotion rushed through his veins as he watched her. She was all he wanted. Deacon leant in close, his fingers gently resting on her waist as they sang together.

"And you took me by surprise when you took my hand. And you with your dark blue eyes, you see the light that I can't see. You see the light in me."

Rayna shivered as she felt his fingers brush against the material at the top of her pants. Only Deacon made her feel completely vulnerable and completely certain in the same breath. Her world had been pulled out from underneath her all those months ago at the Bluebird but as they stood here she realised she wouldn't change any of it. These past few months had made her surer than ever before that it had always been him; he was all she had ever wanted.

"You see the light that I can't see." She sung, looking up into his eyes.

"You see the light in me." He finished, watching her as she played the resolve chord. They both smiled as the arena erupted into a wall of squealing, wolf whistles and applause.

"Deacon Claybourne!" She yelled, holding his hand up in the air as she turned to face the arena. He grinned and leant over, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before making his way off stage. Rayna stole a look in his direction, blushing when he turned around to offer a secret smile only for her.

**- NASHVILLE -**

"Admit it. I got you good tonight." Rayna pushed, her fingers intertwined with his as they wandered aimlessly down a busy street unnoticed by those passing by. Deacon shook his head. "Come on? Really?"

"Nope." He grinned, looking up at the sky as she bumped into him.

"Come on..I changed my whole setlist for you."

"Ok you got me good, happy?"

Rayna laughed, resting her head on his shoulder as they continued to walk lazily.

"Why now?" Deacon asked.

"Hmm?"

"Choose me, choose this, choose us…why now? After everything." He continued, his tone earnest and sincere. Rayna let out a low breath before tightening her grip on his hand.

"You're gonna laugh…"

"Seriously? You're gonna pull that card?" He mocked, looking down at her.

"No stop it! You will." She shrieked, hitting him playfully. He shot her sceptical look. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Ray seriously you're killing me here." He replied, ignoring her request.

"Fine…it was the little voice." She said hesitantly, watching him to see his reaction.

"The little voice?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded, pulling him to a stop so that she could look at him fully. "It's the voice that told me that you were gonna be more than a friend all those years ago when I first met you. It's the voice that told me I gave my heart away a long time ago even when I tried to ignore it."

Deacon's hands found hers as she continued. "It's the voice that told me that I belonged to you regardless of whether we were together or apart…and Deacon it's the voice that reminded me that I was done wasting days and nights waiting...because all this time…if I'm really honest…I have always loved you."

"No laughing here Ray." He murmured, watching her cheeks redden as she let out a sigh of relief.

Smiling, Deacon wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her in, his lips meeting hers firmly as they shut the world out around them. They stayed like this for a spell until he pulled away to rest his forehead against hers. His eyes were full of the future and Rayna blushed as she felt the heat of his body against hers. This moment was sweet and she longed to stay a while longer. Looking up into his eyes again she smiled.

"There's more…" She whispered. Deacon's gaze stayed firmly on hers as he wrapped his arms further around her waist. "It's also the little voice that helped me see I'm nothing when I'm living apart from you…the little voice that reminded me that without Deacon Claybourne…there would be no Rayna Jaymes."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**Dedicated to:**

**MoonlightGardenias, GossipLilyRufusxoxo, Supsi85, 03Truth21, Merderluvr, Soaper410, BeckyPo & PaulaAbdulChica2007**

_**- For being MY little voice from the beginning to the end of this whole process -**_

**This is the end. When I published my first two chapters I never imagined so many people would read, let alone find it in themselves to review LITTLE VOICE. I cannot thank you enough. I appreciate every single review, comment, insight and kind word. None of this would have happened without LITTLE VOICE'S greatest characters, Deacon and Rayna…and it certainly wouldn't have happened without its readers. I feel as though we have written this together...all hoping, wishing and waiting for Deacon and Rayna to get their act together as you voiced your thoughts, what you loved and what frustrated you…LITTLE VOICE was half as hard and twice as good to write because of each reader and reviewer…so thankyou…**

**I am yet to decide whether I will continue writing in the days to come…I am playing around with an idea for a story that accompanies LITTLE VOICE that would focus on Deacon and Rayna post LITTLE VOICE and the unfolding of the Maddie storyline (which I intentionally left unfinished at the end of this chapter). However, I'm not quite sure if people would want to read that…so please let me know if you'd be interested…**

**KEEP COMMENTS, REVIEWS, PMS AND ANYTHING ELSE COMING…If you have any other ideas or things you would like to see explored let me know…**

**I appreciate you all, thankyou again. **

**- J**


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